I was having a stroll with my friend today,we were having our usual discussion of what kind of guy is a right guy..and then she said "there is no right or wrong,its all in the mind..the same right guy might turn out to be the wrong guy in few years n if u r lucky u'l know it in months and luckier then days..everything in this world is either sugar coated or bland..go for the bland one's,atleast the bland taste dose not promise you to remain sweet forever..there will be days when honey coated sweetness will shed off..the day he's done with you..it'l be the end to his sweetness too".. suddenly the loathed truth strike me hard and it shook me from inside..suddenly i had this very feeling of disliking..pitying myself for being such a fool..such a blind..
let me rewind a little and give u a peek in my life..i'am 24 and from the last 10 years of my life i have believed that i'am irrevocably in love with my "friend" who dosen't love me..but this fact never bothered me much till we were friends..the only reason i added "were" before friends in my last line was because i'am a hopeless dreamer..believer..optimistic..egoless fool..he kept talking to me..made me believe that i was his friend during the initial years because he knew he was getting all this attention from his peers..that a girl is madly..head over heels in love with him,he knew he can always revert back to me whenever he feels like..
i gave him 10 years of my life..and when i say this,i mean it..every second..every minute he was in my mind..though i had feelings for him,though i thought of him more than a friend..i gave him all the attention,all the care,all the respect a friend deserves..but it used to hurt me always how he made rules in our friendship..like he would never call,mesg or make plans to meet..if he was in a good mood..he would entertain my calls n plans else he would hang up..not meet n worst not reply..and then came days when he used to be best with his buttery talks n lectures of friendship and mind you these exceptional rules were only for me and not his other friends,he is self proclaimed selfish guy who believes in receiving but not giving and he kept his grounds clear by reminding me time and again not to keep expectations from him..love can be one sided but can friendship be one sided????,for all those who dont believe in the latter i'am a living example of such foolness..but now all of a sudden he has stopped everything..definitely its for my better,but today i feel worst knowing i loved a man..who coudn't even give me his friendship..or if thats too much?? then not even the respect i deserved..today i have deep sympathy for my soul for believing to be in love with someone who i always tried believing that he's a nice guy but he isn't..wasn't and can never be..!!
