When it gets ‘awkward’!

Life often tricks you, with what you intend to speak and what you actually end up speaking! It’s not that we do not possess control over our own words, but the timing of a certain expression seems faulty! The awkward moment comes with rather its realization, minutes later when it is too late to even rewind back…

Back a while ago as a school student, studious and sincere, I was given this responsibility to collect the fee slips from all my classmates, after their parents consented to scribble in their signatures. One of my good friends, this person left the mother’s signature space vacant before submission. Not realizing the tragedy their family went through post the mother’s demise, I blurted- “I cannot accept this incomplete form”! For a while, I could sense my own face, heating abnormally out of embarrassment. Neither can you laugh off these mistakes and move on, nor apologize and make it even more discomforting!

Even worse is when you get stuck over a single word or phrase, like a dying cassette player. “Reverberation” vibrates over the r’s, philanthropy gets an added ‘p’, “consensus” witnesses the conflict of the ‘s’s, and “risks” puts the former ‘s’ in jeopardy. It is awkward even for the listener to laugh carelessly, out of her reflexes, despite knowing the person experiencing a slip of tongue being her own teacher!

But nothing comes close in comparison to spoken words with an ‘un’intended meaning! Your mind doesn’t really see the other side of the same statement you make, often vulgar, controversial, or sometimes just plain humourous, until it is been realized by persons around you. Such experiences are indeed awkward, for I might leave it for your open interpretations!

The worst of all is when your mouth brims with too many words that you end up uttering an unavoidable silence! I still recall, the interview panel that stared at me with a poker face, yet I knew they did not find me striking enough! Awkward it is when intend they confirm your application details, and you forget even your name!
But then, there are good moments as well. When few words can do wonders, and when your eyes can do the talking. Your heart pounces, and even that slight hesitation weaves a memory. That awkward time is nothing but a prized possession, interpreting all the right and wrong reasons behind his smile, behind the way she bends towards you… behind every minute observation that robs you of your slumber! I stumbled as we crossed ways, and hit each other on the head… but I’m glad that awkward moment occurred…

Every ‘that awkward moment’ knits some of the past reminiscences, as I sit back to write …I recollect…