So this is a huge thing for me, confessing something I haven't got the guts to tell anyone or even admit that it happened.
During last exams, I tried study partners and I can be naive in trusting people. So the study partner became a good friend, such a good friend that I slept once or twice at their room. Pure sleep i.e. Yeah I guess it was reckless for me to do so, but I trusted them.
So the last night that I stayed there, this one more friend of mine stayed the night too. I am a very sound sleeper, I hardly wake up. Especially when I am exhausted and that night I slept at 2 am approx.
I woke up. Nothing happened.
But then for the past few months I have had nightmares where I am being sexually assaulted. I dont know if they are just a nightmare or he did something. I am repulsed by the name and sight of that guy now. I dont know if he is at fault. Or is it mine? To trust hormonal guys.
The nightmares have subsided but I cant trust any guy friend anymore. I feel guilty now but I know I shouldn't. Being stupid should not end up as being sexually abused.
