It was, say, the darkest life had to offer. Or, maybe the darker and the uber part is yet to come but with you guys out there it can’t get dimmer anymore. I was lost. Lost in the be wilderness of emotions, feelings and the self-defined misplaced-misguided priorities. Now, things are different. I've understood my priorities. The same I had as a kid. The world was so small yet so big. Things were simpler and people, all around, good. Now am same. But people turned bad. So, I've to avoid a lot of people, in fact, most. Stick with the right people. I pushed myself too harder into ‘what he/she would think if I lose?’. I forgot that people will say a lot of things but they don’t give a damn about where I end up save a few. It makes sense now.
Yes I did flunk the exam. This was the second time I did. Last time it happened in class 5. I was a kid and those were the days I had just turned into the smart guy in the class. I couldn't afford losing the reputation for one exam. I got so depressed studying Sanskrit for the first time that my little mind decided to play evil. I took out my cycle and headed right into the heavy tree at the block-end to get hurt. And when I realized I couldn't get hurt enough, I ran into the tree with all the momentum I could. And then fell unconscious. Ambulance came, dad came and I could avoid that one exam. Years later I never scored less than A+ in that very subject. Nobody knows about this till this day. Not father, mother, friends or the neighbor Sharma aunty. I couldn't afford the credibility loss. I did fell in my own eyes but recovered by working hard then on. Feels like this is the second cycle-tree collision.
Thanks to Discovery channel, Nat Geo and my PC(Encyclopedia Britannica). I was inspired, not to be the topper, or to make papa-mummy happy, or what the neighborhood Sharma aunt would say. But because I was inspired by all those crazy guys who did things for the sake it. I am no longer going to mind people or things. But ideas at the top. Then things and materials. And finally people. In the whole series of life-death-and finding myself, I learnt. I realized there are people who really care. People I haven’t met, or talked, or seen. But they care not because I was a topper once, or for any public opinions in my favor, but they just care and that too sans expectations. Found some really great friends, very few but true ones. The ones who deliver quality over quantity. Who believe me.
Now once again, I’m inspired.
Thank you world!
Break a leg guys!
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