The thing about life to me is it sways time and time again...
Sure it ripples with repeated mistakes and new trials, but really the purpose is sometimes not clear.
For religion sake, it can be straight forward, but time and time again I feel seated out in a space of the unknown thinking about the possibilities here in this world, in this specific galaxy to which is amazing and all...however,
On this earth before oblivion, where years would pass and my records have been recycled for data space. I just feel why not take all risks and live life.
I don't mean to kill someone or over drink or do drugs. I'm naive, young, full of dreams and I know no better, so I only believe in love, I feel alone in this world - thinking to myself who thinks what I think or knows what I know.
I try to word search most things, the dictionary gives a vague answer - like life or purpose or friendship or love. There are many question to be asked, but even still answer them all and more questions would take place.
My angle is what to do with your time? there is a ladder in life - you craw - you walk - you learn - you earn - you die. Love is a famous anomaly, from an exception point of view. Its all that motivates me really, am not talking family or from a friend to another. There is this other love or is it love? honestly am too young to understand it, now that being said, age isn't even the factor here.
Time is something we all understand to be in seconds, minutes and hours. But that's because it the only thing we can hold unto, we live by the 12 digit clock - counting seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years. But there is an infinite amount to which we can't comprehend.
This makes me wonder then, what is life if for us it is just a stop watch? we are basically a drop from the top a water fall traveling down slowly waiting to hit the bottom, of course it is a single minded metaphor, but between the drop and the splash, we find our self with a connection to another being, which is what I only find amazing in this world, these are the moments for me when time itself stops.
I believe love is a thing of not knowing, of course you have to be on top of your game, but even in games, the unthinkable happens. In this case I'm talking bout the real thing, I wouldn't know, I've never had it, the one time I thought I did, I think it was a forced shut - rushed really - it wasn't bad - it was good, every mini-second of it.
I've counted to 20 like a million times and realized I am actually very young, yet I feel old, like its just about time before my fire burns out. In my mind, I am 1 in 7,000,000,000. the thing is who exactly the f*ck am I? I have come to agree that I am irrelevant, like colliding protons i will fade away, probably never remembered, just a memory, or a whisper in the wind. That's just because its the sad part of life, alone, worried, slowly dying, not realized what my life is coming to.
If I find my partner in life, not even a permanent one, i just need to connect with someone. As stupid as it sounds, I don't know what else to do, I occupy myself a lot to take my mind off the idea, but it fades. you know that saying 'be ready for what life throws at you'? well it threw love a couple of times - each time I'm never ready, but I can cope - just with a little hope.
All in all I might be talking a lot of sh*t!
