1) Welcome to our great nation. If you came here thinking we are a land of snake charmers and just poor people, I assure you you'll be in for a surprise.

2) You have to get used to our 'horrid' climate somehow. No use comparing our pot holed dirty roads with your clean and spic n span ones. You chose to visit us, didn't you?

3) Do wear some decent clothes. Women in banyans?? A strict no no. Here only men wear them.

4) Do not dot our beaches in those bikinis. We are tired of watching 'em in all your movies.

5) Believe me the sari is not a woman's nightmare. It's the sexiest garment a female could ever wear. And the upper garment is a blouse..not a small 'shirt'.

6) Water filters do work out here. No need to consume expensive mineral water even while indoors.

7) Please, women, don't show that deep, deep cleavage. Our men believe in using their eyes to the fullest potential..

8) We haven't yet got used to those gigantic 'bear' hugs you folk try to greet us with. A simple namaste will do the trick.

9) Be careful not to trust strangers here too much. Why, even friends can't be trusted, leave alone strangers.

10) We folk don't smile often, we forget to greet people. If you do receive a 'thank you' by sheer fluke, you are indeed fortunate.

11) Beware of roadside eateries. Not 'dabbas', they are called dhabas. They may be vegetarian, but they still serve non veg. (worms and weevils served in sabjis.)

12) Don't drop your jaw on hearing how 'much married' we Indians are. Divorces do happen, but most spouses try to tolerate each other,( with sheer grit n grin), for an entire life time.

13) Lastly, if you are invited to a Keralite meal, please do not sit on the banana leaf. It's actually the plate in which you will be served lunch!

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