He slammed his mobile phone back in his pocket. He had just lost everything. He came out of the shop. He stood there in the middle of the crowded market screaming inside his head for someone to hear him. But no words came out of his mouth. He knew he had lost everything but his ego prevented him from admitting it. With a jerk he brought the blade down on his wrist. The flow surprised him. He had read this was painless and he felt just that. Nothing. All the drugs in his blood had stolen his feeling or any sensations a long time ago. He lay there in the middle of the crowd smiling at all the ignorant fools, looking them in the eyes and realizing none of them have noticed it. That’s exactly what he had expected. He started blacking out, and he realized he had felt this sensation before. Then he remembered Amit, and cried for the first time after the incident. He prayed for him to forgive him. It was almost time now, tears rolling down his eyes, he could feel he was about to lose his senses, when out of somewhere he heard a scream. Then he saw what he thought was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. 'I must be dead now, I am seeing angels’, he thought with a smile, and then he saw the same angel wrapping a piece of cloth around his wrist. And then he blacked out.
They say that when you are about to die your whole life flashes before your eyes. For him, the rest were not important what was, started flashing.
It all began eleven months ago.
Fresh out of a prestigious engineering college, he was full of hope, full of life. Eager to prove himself, Kartik had run away from his home and his father's 'boring' business. He was in Delhi. Friends were plenty so he had no trouble finding a place to stay and with his friends working, meant he had food on the table. The first few weeks went away in a flash. Partying, late night poker, LAN gaming. It takes time to settle down after all and he was in no hurry. Then he started searching for a job, and slowly reality began creeping in. Hours in the summer heat of Delhi, with a CGPA of barely 6 and no mentionable accomplishments to brag about, it was no surprise that he was rejected from left and right.
But the partying did not stop, ’Why should it’ he thought. It was not his fault. The system was flawed for not recognising his talent. The irony is, wherever failure leads, for some reason drugs follow. It was in one such party that someone introduced him to some blue pills, supposed to make him forget everything. And he knew he needed a lot of dead brain cells. So he took them, and some more.
God once tried to prove to Satan that a shepherd was his best disciple. To do so, he first destroyed his crops, his cattle, his relatives and finally his family. But the shepherd being the believer he was, still prayed and thanked God for his greatness thus validating God's claim.
Now although Kartik was not such a believer, he sure was getting tested.
Staying away from his home, his family had stopped all communications with him and his sister was married without her brother's presence. This he had expected and so was not much bothered.
Then came the incident.
He was with Amit, his friend's place and the two of them strolled out for a late night snack. He asked Amit for a pair of clean jeans but Amit gave him the 'lousy trousers' wearing the jeans himself. It was dark at the park that they needed to cross in order to get to the road side eatery. The typical Delhi street lights were out. They could see two, three people up ahead in the park, visibility was low in the cold, and fog covered night. As they approached the middle of the park, the people they had seen suddenly blocked their path. And now that they were no more than a few feet away, he could see they carried sticks. As if on cue, the group attacked them. Both Kartik and Amit were well built, but they were outnumbered and unarmed. They stood no chance. Kartik was the first to go down, but he remained conscious enough to see Amit fall and hit the concrete pavement head first. It was a couple of hours before he woke up, it was still dark, and the park was now deserted. He cried for help, no one heard him. He searched his pockets. No cell phones, no wallets, not even the chain his mother had put around his neck to ward off evil spirits. The irony. He shook Amit, but he did not budge. Slowly he gathered his strength and limped towards the eatery. He barely reached there when someone noticed he was bleeding. When the man rushed to him all he could do was point towards the park before collapsing.
He woke up in the hospital the next day. Bandages all around him. His parents were not informed. His friends were there as usual. The grim look on their faces screamed of something they would not tell. It was week before they told him Amit was in a coma. He needed a surgery but they could not risk it at this moment. He saw Amit lying motionless as all the wires and tubes connected him. He ravaged through Amit's belongings and took Amit's jeans wondering whether had he worn them, would things have ended differently. He did not have the courage to face Amit's parents. For some reason he could not react. He could not cry, he could not scream, he could not do anything. Later he found a crumbled 500 rupee note hidden in the secret inside pocket. When he straightened the note, Amit's blood had made a weird smiley face on the watermark. He tucked it in his pocket.
Three weeks later he was back at some other friend's place. It was Raj this time. They tried to cheer him up, but he could not escape the nagging feeling that somehow it was his fault.
And this was the final push. He fell in an abyss that no one seemed to be able to take him out from.
And then the drugs began. Blue pills were not enough anymore, powders and syringes took its place.
Money was not a problem as his friends were willing to please him.
It stayed this way for three months. Then came a call that was like a light at the end of the tunnel.
Amit's vitals were improving and soon they would be able to perform the surgery and if all goes well would bring him out of the coma.
For some reason, this brought a new wave of hope in him. He stopped the needles, the withdrawal symptoms were horrific but he managed. The news had given him an untapped energy and will and he was making good use of it.
Two weeks before the planned surgery he sat for his first interview in 8 months. Sobered and inspired he floored the interview panel. They told him 'unofficially' that they hoped to see him in their office in two weeks. That was when the official calls were made, and coincidentally also the date when the surgery was to be performed.
And today was the day. He could not bear the hospital anymore so he went out in the market.
He was shopping for casuals, when the call came. It was from the firm where he had given the interview. ‘Mr. Kartik, I am Supneet HR from Telco Communication Servies, I believe you had given an interview here two weeks ago.'. His eyes sparkled. While on the call he got an SMS. He opened it while replying 'Yes Ma'am'. It was from Raj. It read, 'dude..man..dude..the operation was not successful..Amit could not make it..where r u??been trying to call u'. The ground was pulled off from beneath his feet. He could faintly hear Supneet talking ' Mr. Kartik we are sorry to inform you that you have not been selected, you see our company has a policy of admitting people who have at least a 6.5 CGPA, I don't know how it was overlooked during the int...'. He had heard enough. He slammed his mobile phone back in his pocket.
To be continued......
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