She sat in her corner, with puffy teary eyes, her mind trying with a fierce determination to focus on what she had been feeling for the past few weeks. She knew that she had to hold her defense and she knew that she had a good reason to do so.
What she did not seem to be able to do, is hold her thoughts together long enough to convey to him why he was wrong and why she was hurt. She was never too good at confrontation and he was a genius at it. She had come about to this dialogue with a lot of issues on her mind and in a matter of minutes; all she was left with was a fading resolve and overpowering confusion.
One by one, he made her believe that all her beliefs were baseless and crazy. She did, by and by, believe him because after all, she did feel quite out of her mind. It was not fair but this was how it went. After a point, she could not help but take the blame. She felt as though she had never done anything right; she had wronged him and that she must change.
But all the blame that he gave and all the blame she took, uncovered a storm in her mind that he had buried when he had come into her life. She had been hurt and broken too many times before and she had withheld from his affection for a long time. But he had stood his stand, till she had let down her heart’s guard for him. And again it had come to this.
All the past misfortunes and mistakes and pain came rushing back as she listened on to him speak. Her mind had gone from being upset to being guilty to being angry and finally she had fallen back into her temporarily diminished sense of despair.As she looked into his beautiful eyes, she felt herself drowning and all she could do was smile. She smiled because the cynic in her mind reminded her that she had predicted this and it was all too ironic. He didn’t understand her smile. He had been her knight in shining armor once but this time he had seen her fall again and done nothing. He thought it had become all ok and held her in his arms and hushed in her ears that he loved her and that all would be fine.
She kept smiling because to her it felt funny that after all the hoping she was hopelessly lost yet again.....
