I had not received any texts from her for days. I was worried about her. Could not call her because she is always under house arrest. I was continuously texting her about what is wrong, If there is any problem please tell me, I am here. Was being with her just as a best friend should be.
That day also I did the same. I asked her how was she? It was afternoon I was lying on my bed when my phone vibrated. Over past few days i was picking up my phone whenever it vibrated expecting its her. But it was never. This time it was her message. I was expecting she would say something which would lessen my worries. So i opened her text.
"I have agreed. The guy is coming to see me this weekend. Please stay away from my problems.
Bye"
This text from her broke me. I was speecless for a moment. My heartbeat began to slow down or race fast i dont know what exactly was happening. I did not knew how to react on it. I was just stonned like a rock. I knew she was gonna get married anytime soon this year. And it was against her will too. I knew her parents were pressurising her for it. Everyone around her was troubling her regarding what decision she should take and what not. Her frustration had taken a toll. And she decided to say a yes. Letting her dreams on fire.
But what broke me more was the line in the text. "stay away from me and bye"
I was being selfish reading it. Not thinking about her side I just knew that i did not wanted to say a goodbye to my best friend. Not this soon. Not this way.
I was unsure about the fact that is it a final.goodbye. And if it is. It will stick in my heart forever. I rushed out of my home and went at a place where no one could see me. No one could see me, weep.
So i went to a hill at a broken garden there. Where there are no people. All you can see is sea in front of you. You share your sorrows with the sea. You talk about your problems with the breeze. You rest under the shadows of trees. I went there.
I sat under a tree watching the sea. The calm breeze was breakimg the silence. Then i thought. Am I not being too selfish? That girl out there is tired of fighting ans has given up everything for her parents. And i should cry just because she said bye. That girl out there has no one with her right now. And I should cey just because she dosnt want me anymore?
I thought No. I am being selfish. I should give her time. She will text me back. We will be best friends No matter where life takes us. No matter where we land up. We were same, and we will be. She just needs time. She will come back. I trust my friendship. Its not a final goodbye.
I was consoling myself.
But as you know. Our heart is a kid that weeps if he sees his loved things going how much u try consoling the kid.
So i couldnt control. Tears rolled out of my eyes.
I went back home waiting for her message. I thought she would message M sorry for being so rude yaa was just stressed out. I was panicing. I left her a text saying I am there for you. Call me whenever you feel like talking to me.
But there was no call or message for days. Those days i was counting each and every second. Was peeping into my phone every mintue. I was talking about her with someone every hour.
I was way to scared to lose her.
I couldnt bare it anymore. I decided to go to the place where i used to meet her everyday during her internship. After her shift ended. Just to take a walk wid her from her office to the station.
So i took a train and went to churchgate. I got down at the station Every memory was flashing. It was day time but it was like a nightmare for me without her on that walk.
I saw the shop where i used to buy her choclates. She used to eat it with delight even if she dint like it. The expression on her face even on seeing a 1 ruppee melody would make me smile wide. I got the alpino choclates for me as I always used to. These have love messages in them. I took those and came out of station. For a moment i thought she would wave me out from somewhere. But i realised I was alone in this walk.
When I was crossing the road there was no one i could take care of. And i had never crossed the road so carelessly as i did today. There was pain in my heart as I was walking. Her silly talks and cute giggles were missing. She slapping me, Pjnching me, Making fun of my jokes. Everything was missing.
I ate the choclates alone. Read the messages inside them alone. I kept those in my pocket as a memory. I thought if she never came back. Il read these whenever i miss her badly.
This route was never so long and slow. Why is it today? Why is it that every step i have to take feels like a mile? Why is the clock ticking so slow today?
I took my phone and plugged in my headphones to divert my mind. As i was walking sun set and it was almost getting little dark. The street lights were lit up.
I reached the juice centre which was the must take stop during our walk. No matter if you are full with lits of food. You need to take a stop here.
It was always a good time here. The shop owner looks at me and starts looking around. May be he mustve thought where is the pretty girl who always accompanies him.
A tear rolled. That place was very special for us.
I moved ahead. Reached a place. In front of me was a huge road ti cross. And across the road there was a ground. I was at the edge of the road. Now i had to cross it. Cross the groud. Reach CST station.
That part of the walk had the most beautiful memories of our little journey.
I was staring at the ground a huge pile of memories flashed through my mind and it touched the strings of my heart.
A remembered a line by the famous poet.
" Beyond all the concepts of wrongdoing and rightdoing. There is a field. I will meet you there." - Rumi
I decided not to cross the Road.
I decided not to walk alone.
I was scared. If i walked alone she will never come back.
So i turned around and went back.
My music player was on a shuffle mode. And Coldplay's song played. 'Christmas Lights'
I was walking. Looking at the street lights. Hoping that she will come back.
Then came the line.
"Those christmas lights. Light up the streets. May be they'll bring her back to me. And then all my troubles will be gone, Oh christmas lights. Keep shining on"
Before i could cry i switched off the song. And kept my phone in my pocket. It started ringing.
Jaiee name flashed.
I picked up.
"Hey, Can we meet tommorow? "
And i knew It was definitely not the end of our friendship.
My best friend was back.
The meeting place. Again gave me my best friend whom i thought was lost.
