Looking beyond, into the space of confines, beyond the confines, but still within. Barbed wires are not so bad. Shackles hurt, but grow on you. Chains are heavy and still…once you wear them, you'll yearn for the unyielding weight on yourself, for times to come. Me? I just sit here, looking beyond possibilities.
A stray thought takes you up, and you wonder. Is this where I belong? Maybe. Maybe not. Where does one belong? How does one define belonging? Is it when you feel that you belong? Or is it when the world sees you, one with the picture? Or is it just a fantastical notion, always almost touching reality, but never so? Moonless nights, cascade into one single night of incomprehensible terror. I hide, cower. Starkness is so cruel. Where shall I hide, when the night is as spotless as the day? The moon as tainted as the sun. It is only in fear, that you despise beauty. Like now. Like a million years before, sometime. Like a black rose buried beneath a mound of sand. Like hatred, pure white. Like love, pure.
And the silent night doesn't move. Seems endless, but you know it'll die. Like so much else. So many people. Like fireflies; glowing, burning, dying. Flickers. Little gods of ashes. Heroes for seconds. Martyrs forever.
Me? I just sit here, killing possibilities. Choking hope. Masquerading as an angel; doing the devil's dirty jobs. Tearing wings off the backs of little birds; seeing red. Starving hungry eyes; denying what little I can. Taking all I will. The waters of Lethe would not be enough to wipe away such thoughts. Such memories; tainted. Dripping in innocent blood. Where was I? Where have I come? Where was the transit...the gateway to hell? Where did I forget? The ferryman just smiles, while I look. Beyond possibilities.
And I still look. Beyond the comforting waters; smiling faces calling forever. Calling me. Killing me. Wanting me. Waiting still, for the fall.
I fall.
