I sit behind the inconspicuous veil - the meshed window
looking to the road at the front of the house. It does what
a lens would - magnify the world outside my own. It is much
larger a picture actually, than it would be when I step out and
into it. I am a silent observer - content to be just that - watching
the world pass while I sit unmoved, unchallenged and unfazed.
The sun is playing hide and seek, the clouds it's protective mother.
It drizzles and the earth is wet when the sun decides to come
out of hiding and take all the dampness away.
People go their way anyway, undeterred by the rain
betraying no emotion; each one with a veil hiding the battle
being fought within. The trees sway in the wind, singing their
own mellow song. I see children - free spirits - running, chattering,
cycling their way to someplace they aren't aware of.
Their carefree minds free of all the convictions life offers;
fearless to go with the flow and to count each second pass.
They remind me of the time's irreversibility; as said,
past is only an illusion, and so is the future.
I decide then to make the picture smaller anyway.
I put on my sweatshirt and shut the window. Instead,
I open the door and take a step out. Fear grabs me from
the back, tries to pull me back in. A conflict is waged within-
I don't want to give in to my fear, but the world...I am
just not ready to step out yet. Then do I remember
a pending task indoor, I step back in and shut the door
to the world...again. I open the window, feel melancholy-
a sad music bubbling in the heart. I console myself saying,
"I will give in to my longing tomorrow...." and get back to doing
the work which was only an excuse.
I see the fear give me a diabolic smile; it knows for how long
I have been saying this to myself, and for not once have I
succeeded in breaking the spell.
