"So this is it?" She asked as she looked at him, fighting her tears through her eyes as if she was still on the way to decide whether to doubt or believe his words of "There is no coming back"
"Yes" he replied sternly with no expressions. There was no sign of sadness or regret on his face. He suddenly seemed to bear sick vampire looks as narrated in Twilight stories. It was for the first time, she was unable to tell what was going on behind those cold eyes of him.
It was already raining, as they stood outside the coffee shop. They just had their last coffee together. An hour ago, it was a happy moment when he had entered through the wooden door. She quickly waved at him, like always, she had been waiting for him with her gaze fixed on the entrance. His presence had always brought a joy to her soul which reflected in her ever bright smile.
As he appeared in his black jacket, a white shirt, and blue jeans, and advanced in his Nike shoes towards the table of two where she sat, he bore a slight smile. It seemed as if he knew this was the last time she would ever smile at him. She kept looking at him until he reached her. He gave a gentle kiss on her cheek and settled on the chair she had reserved for him.
Ignoring his strange silence, she started going through the menu like always, even when she had pre-decided what she would have. As she turned the menu papers and talked, he kept looking at her and smiled as if she was some adorable child. He was so absorbed in her innocent play, that he almost winked to come back to reality when she waved at his face. Only then he answered her question: "uhh.. yes,, uhh, I would have ..a ... a cup of coffee.. yes, a cup of cappuccino with cream."
"What's wrong baby? Why so lost?" she asked.
"Umm.. nothing, I had a bad night, could not sleep much." He decided to delay the actual answer.
"How many times did I tell you to sleep properly and eat properly? Please, if not for yourself, then at-least think of me." She requested, and then quickly turned back to her wittiness. "After all, I am not gonna marry some skeleton.. haha."
As she talked and talked, he kept looking at her and answered only with short replies. He behaved as if he was looking at her for the first time. She was not attractive to many but meant the world to him. Her shoulder length hair had always added to her cuteness. Her almond shaped eyes as deeper as an ocean that holds many untold secrets. He cheeks as soft as a rubber, that sometimes he used to twist them with his fingers. Her lips as glossy as one could ever wish to kiss. Her figure was rarely visible and only when she put on something western. She was a full package, hot and cute. Loyal and adorable. Attractive and innocent. He would have never thought of leaving her if it was not because of his fear of commitments.
He kept gazing at her as if he would hug her anytime and tell her "I love you." She kept sharing her stories, while he fixed his eyes on her. It was until his last sip of cappuccino that he realized one hour has passed. He came back to his senses. Finally, the time has arrived when he had to say it. He held her hands and stopped her. Put a finger on her lips, and "shhh.." It was then, where he touched her soft lips for the last time. After a second or two, she had now realized that something is not right.
As soon as he began to speak, tears rolled in her eyes. At first, she thought he was just teasing, but when he did not smile, she started to cry. Today, he was supposed to tell her what his parents think of their relationship. But, to her dismay, he appeared to be a total loser. He was so afraid to take a big step. He gave many reasons and presented many excuses. It was obvious that she was nothing to him more than just a pleasure, either physical or not. She was just a good attraction for her. His feelings were not as strong as were hers, for she had already decided never to leave his hand, either in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth. He, on the other hand, had many excuses to step out of the commitment.
As he continued to give excuses and reasons, she kept begging him "tell me it's not true", "please don't do this to me". "I have no one else except you"
He behaved as if she was not there or if he did not understand a word she said.
When he had said what he came for, he stood up to leave. Today, he did not care if she was left alone or if she was crying. The girl who believed to be everything for him until yesterday was nothing to him. As he left, she rushed after him. She held him, and hugged him and tried her last, "Please stay with me." Even when he wanted to hold her tight, he got himself free of her arms, even when he wanted to melt in her tears, he looked straight, and said,"you have a whole life ahead, don't make quick decisions. Our relationship was supposed to be ended here. Thank you for giving me the best memories."
It had started to drizzle. It was the first time when she was not dancing in this weather when he was around. Wiping her tears, it was then she attempted her last to change his mind as she asked, "So, this is.. this is it?" and his "Yes" came to her like a storm.
As he replied, his fingers slipped away from her hand and he left her there. She stood there, not sure of her feelings if she was shocked or hurt. She had stopped crying. She had gone blank in her thoughts. For, she would never see him again. She would never touch him again. She would never have his jacket around her shoulders in winter. She would not be adored that much. She would never have anyone who could listen to her. She would not have that someone special to give her a 2AM call, to shut away her fears of ghosts. She would never listen to his voice. She would never laugh again at his jokes. There was so much of him in her every part and every moment of her life that now she would never share with him anymore. Absorbed in the fears of HAVING NOT HIM, she did not know what happened to her next.
She opened her eyes in Xerox hospital, she realized she was all alone once again.
Some passersby had brought her to the hospital when she fell unconscious outside the coffee shop. It had started raining heavily.
Yes, the rain had caught her. It would be another untold secret that will get absorbed in the salt of her ocean.
