The Asshole ...

As a guy having a sister & 3 cousin sisters, i am totally aware of what goes through a girls mind after being dumped or even after breakup. Truth is the person who dumps undergoes much deeper pain. Because he knows what its like. Means the person who does the dumping lays low for three weeks (approx) to look sensitive and avoid questions of overlap. Its the same case in boys as well as girls. You wouldn't trust me on this but you will believe it some day or the other.
The article is named the "The Asshole" with three dots "..." To those who are unaware of it, they are called ellipsis, meaning "omission" or "falling short" a series of dots that usually indicates an intentional omission of a word, sentence, or whole section from a text without altering its original meaning. What i mean to say is, there is no way to explain the person who has broken someone's heart. How much you abuse, your heart just wont be satisfied.
I Have a Serious & inevitably True confession to make, it has been 5 years but i cant tell it to anyone. I am an "Asshole", oh don't look like that, yes i am. But i don't regret it even though at night sometime's i think if i did the right thing.

It was after my 10th i entered college. College life was better than school. HERE is the thing, if some person tells you they like school life more. THEY are Losers. Truth is they were popular in school but it takes lot to become the catcher in the eye to be a personality in college or work. They are unable to being so called "popular" in college and hence they say they miss school life. In school its much easy to become popular. Score some good grades, be good in sports, or do mischief, become everyone's favorite and bam! Your a popular person! When we get into the outer world. We know what it takes to become a personality. Elder people know it better. Ask them.
Coming back to my story, college life was different. In school, i was the guy sitting on the last bench either completing my journals/Assignments etc. I can't say i was a nerd. But i was an average kid. In college, everyone liked me, i had talent which people appreciated (I wont go in much detail as to what i did or something like that). People liked me, they wanted to talk to me, and it felt nice. I had 84% in my 10th which was an average score altogether, but my parents were keen to put me into an good college. They paid donation as my dad had contacts being a powerful person, i didn't like the idea of getting seats on donation. But i couldn't say anything. I didn't show up on the first day of college as i didn't have a receipt of admission, so on the second day as i packed my bag my sister said something which still haunts me "You break someone's heart, i will break your bones." Now my sister is 4 years elder to me. I had no idea what she was saying. I picked up my bag and off i went to my new world. I didn't have much friends in school and was not interested in being in contact with the others too. In college, i entered the classroom and everyone looked at me like i was a cancer patient. As usual due to good height i went and sat the back benches. I noticed a girl entering as she sat on the first bench. Skipping everything, i liked her the moment i saw her. I admired for everything. I wanted to get to know her, but how could i? And then there was, the chemistry practicals. I prayed to god for her to become my partner but then it didn't happen. Again at the practical exam, she came next to my table and shouted at me as i was talking the burner to my side of the table. That was the first time i spoke. Well altogether not a good way to start a conversation but it was good :D
We got in contact on facebook , exchanged numbers after i literally pleaded. Well she acted as she was very above me and i said she doesn't give her numbers to everyone and all. She was rude, arrogant, had a bit.... lot of attitude.. but i liked her anyway. She was a mugger in studies and scored well :p She was good looking on a brighter side :D Was low on height, was bit over weight and grumbled about that always. Had curly hair. She was from a middle class family, same as me. The texting began and after 2-3 months i confessed my feelings. She said she didnt like anyone. I didnt say anything much. We still chatted day in and day out. She shared many things and compared it with me. I didn't say much. Just listened. Girls want to share many things and want someone to listen. I was always there for her... always... I always cared, cared way beyond i could possibly imagine. Saved money for her. Mom used to give money for a rick to going to college and class. I took the bus or the train. I gave her gifts with them on her birthday's. She accepted them after a while of NO NO... We were no doubt complete opposites. She was a nerd, while i was average in studies. But i was popular due to my work while she maintained a low profile.She sometimes helped me with journals but only after i pleaded. Means i took her book. She never completed them for me. She did compare me with the other guys as even though i am good in looks. She wanted a guy like Bradley Cooper. Well that's what she said. It was 2 years since then, and i told my sister everything. She said she didn't like the girl. Even her friends said to give up. Any other girl would have been convinced till now. Her friends messaged that i should forget about her and her attitude & ego will never let a relationship between us two possible. And yet i didn't lose hope. Suddenly my health got wicked and i landed up in the hospital due to liver problems. As the exams were going to start from 2 months from then, i told her that i still had the same feelings as i had 2 years ago. Well i did lie something about me, but i just wanted her to notice me! That's all! Even she accepted and i got well. After my exams we dated twice but only with her friend accompanying her. Well, trust me that was awkward. There was sudden change in her behavior. In clear sense, she was acting like she was doing a big favor. That's when i decided that this was it. After a month after the exams i lied to her that i liked some other girl in school and still loved her and i was playing with her. That was the only way to make her hate me. I saw it and i did it. She said that i played with her. I didn't see how "I" played with her. I mean i took 2 bloody years to convince her!! The only thing that i remember her saying last words were "Go to Hell". That's it. I wanted her to try at-least once to come back but she never did. Over the top, her friends abused me, yes the same friends that warned me to forget about her.
My friends said i did a wrong thing.
Till today i haven't been able to answer myself. She hurted me way lot of times by comparing, insulting & what not! She said i used her. I never even touched her ever, i seriously don't understand in what way i used her??! After that, i have no interest in women at all. I carry the same attitude towards all women as she carried against me. And you know what, they run behind me! How does this shit even work!!??

I saw a movie the other day, in that there was a scene where a guy says "Girls like guys who run after them". But i think my case was way toooo ahead of running.

The point i am trying to make is, today girls think of me as the most unpleasant, rude , ignorant, and all round obnoxious asshole that anyone can possibly have the misfortune to meet or have the acquaintance of! And they love me for that. I seriously don't understand this.

When we love someone, we must not care what they are, but who they are.... I leave the rest to your deductions :)