There are so many things happening in our lives, and so many things that we do. Things we do remain either reactions to events happening around or an aware step on our part. Both ways we make mistakes, sometimes. Some mistakes become part of our conscience. I want to confess one today.
I can't call it a mistake because it was not any obligation for me. I was in class 8th and it was durga pooja. It was all decorated, the whole city and we (mom dad n my little sis ) were in middle of the celebration. People and people everywhere. We stopped at an ice cream wala's stand. Me and my sis had our cornetto. It was crowded and mom and dad were looking at the durga mata's murti, just then a beggar came to me. He was a little younger than me. He asked me to give him my ice cream. I was eating an ice cream in ages and i had just not yet finished it even one fourth. I was in dilemma. I was thinking. And i thought that i should give it to him but then looked around. Few people were looking at me. I got conscious. I started justifying it to myself that I should not give it to him. All sorts of logic. I should not promote beggary, what will people think and all bull shit. And in a moment he was gone. And I felt guilty. I felt, it would have given him more pleasure if i had given him.
Now I realize, even if its a standard way for those kids get what they want, because kids are more easy to convince, I did a bad thing to my self. I could have gained that happiness, a chance that I lost.
Recently, I was sitting on durgapur railway platform and two kids, I think not more than 6 years old were performing stunts to collect money. It was cold. I gave them Rupee 20 each. While they were happy to see that crease less fresh ten rupee notes, I took a stroll down the memory lane to a time I was a kid. Everyone around looked at me but I don't care.
