A pessimist am I- dwelling in the past,
tired of live, love, relations, work- represents how I feel right now.
The surroundings the darkness casts
I am tired of still walking past
pulling through, with a broad smile hiding all pain.
Sufferings inflicted can be taken no longer
to walk, I linger
Yet walk towards, with great distaste
limits all crossed for now
I want to die- but how?
The life to me has lost its taste
It's colourless, dull, a complete waste!
All I find ios dusk and dirt
C'mon, I am tired, I need that rest;
A rest that's peaceful and forever and all
When I finally can hear Him call.
I finally decide I want to end it all
Before the time more darkness falls
I decide to end
as I slowly bend
to give up all hope, desires
jumbling me around like tangled wires
of being loved, of a will to survive
I need not any, have been through these,
yet what returned was hatred, tease.
The sharp ends of the shining surface
now inflicts in me unending pain.
Paleness surrounds- white becomes mine face
I know asking for help is in vain
To will, I replied with a haughty disdain.
I feel so peace
looking at the red cascade flowing from my wrist
branches rivering around the room
I slowly realise I am soon to meet my doom
I don't feel sad, I don't cry
that's what I wanted- then worry why?
I visualise all I had to suffer, naver in my life
had I been able to take a nap
peacefully on my mother's lap.
Yet efforts finally are now paying
as my eyes slowly haze
the blood appears as the carpet red- I gaze.
No longer do I feel the pain
I finally win! I now gain!
"I sleep mother...
(you have) no rights to disturb
or wake me up either!" - I say as I close
my eyes to forever doze.
I finally meet my death
as I breathe my very last breath.
