#someone's story written in first person .
The day I first started my work, i was very small. i did not know what, i was very small.
i did not know what i had to do but i was sure it would be exciting, because since the onset of puberty, i had always been fascinated by sex.
i was waiting there, in some tit bits of clothes, trying to show my cleavage, my stomach, my butt crack, waiting for someone to come and take my virginity. and the door opened, entered a drunk man. i said him hello, but all he did was ripped off my clothes and wildly started kissing me everywhere. instead of submitting myself to him, i felt numb, i was shocked. i simply felt puppet of his actions. after all this wasn't how i had imagined sex. my girlfriends told me it was magical but i completely felt harassed. no magic at all. but that day i realized that my life wasn't like the fairy tale i had envisioned. so instead of moping around, i should feel happy with the flow.. but deep inside, i was broken. i wanted to go back home.
i do not remember why but i didn't.
days passed and so did years. i had been shifted to Dubai.
i was promoted to a foreign prostitute. there i met many more like me, coming from various parts of the world. i had even made many friends. and understood their reasons for choosing this kind of life.
but i couldn't remember mine. because many years had passed and i don't know why i was i here. i faintly remember that once i went to school, had a mother, lived in a small hut like home.
rumors have it that my mother sent me here, others say that i was been kidnapped.
but whatever it may be, i aint sad. i was enjoying my life, and my freedom. and prostitution was just paying the bills.
all prostitutes here, think that someday, some handsome prince would enter the bar and see in them a woman, a companion, a lover and a friend. who would take them out of this life and marry them. but from my very first encounter i knew nothing like this would ever happen. life wasn't a fairytale.
i had learned many things since then, that how men's minds work, how to be more sexy in order to get more commission. i learned that sex wasn't necessarily magical because i was completely worn out of it.
since then, i had made many decisions too, but one decision had turned out to be the turning point of my life.
on the regular basis of opening my legs for money, i realized that i wasn't just losing my body but also my soul. i was losing my inner self.
so i decided to study literature in the free day time, after i was done partying.
after a few months, a guy from my class came and asked me," ma'am would you like to enroll your name for the speech competition held this weekend?"
MA'AM.
no one had ever called me that. i was always called in slangishly slutty by my customers.
MA'AM. it felt so out of the line.
i was delighted. the first timer.
i suddenly felt i was filled with honor, dignity and self respect. something of which i never had the privilege to feel before.
that night at work i felt so shallow while opening my legs that i stopped and ran off without even taking the money.
for the first time the freedom and fascination felt suffocating.
maybe because for the first time i wasn't just selling my body but my soul.
my body was of sins but was my soul?
no. no. no.
LUST of my body guided me to prostitution, but the LUST of my soul, to literature.
i was selling it.
NO.
later after that night i never went back to that bar. changed my name, changed my address and changed the way to look at my life. after a few months, i felt my life was a fairytale again.
i fell in love. and did sex without money.
and to my surprise, it felt magical, satisfying.
maybe i was just a prostitute by profession, not a prostitute by thought.
Comments (31 so far )
if done outside..it again brings in guilt, isnt it?
there has to be, bcz society can't be turning shallow, day by day, its gna make it worse. prostitutes, who have a chance, shud be deciding for themselves.
but, uknw, i seriously feel helpless, when i try to convey and ppl dnt even try to understand..
anyways u r entitled to ur own views
marriage, came later, just outta traditions, which were made by us, humans, and not god.
but for that u have to understand that prostitutes have a life too,
and that married colleague got his conscience too, he too has to fall in love with her. she aint gonna seduce that man, for him to fall in love with her, even if she does, that isnt love.
Marriage is a social structure which had its own use and provisions, without marriage and monogamy we won't have survived and thrived as a race the way we did.
Though for many people its a certified love killer as is lust.
The problem is we as humans have come so far away from out natural tendencies that we need to read and learn about everything.Somehow lust schools are working overtime in form of friends, relatives and books priming the youths into sex seeking ghosts always hungry for more and more not realizing the desire is designed to stay till there is progeny. Prolactin and other harmones control the sexual behavior post birth of a baby in both genders. So seeking the thrill in sex only will never complete the circle and it will keep going on and on, giving raise to frustraion, perversions and experimentaiton though nothing satisfies. Its not meant to satisfy at first place.
Instead of naturally feeling closeness with someone they are emotionally attached and lovey dovey with, people start seeking other gender as objects based on the sexual preference. No matter how much we talk about love, there is no possibility for love when we are doping the society with sex drug over and over again.
As far as marriage is concerned, monogamous associations brings out best in both as there is more and more time spent together and with time understanding and bonding increases. You can't know ten people even ten percent but you can know and be with one person 100%.
About god's design - there are species around us like Mourning Doves which don't need to get married to stay in a monogamous relationship. Its a natural design, though we have lost touch with our natural design, but natural design by no mean was to seek partners solely for seeking thrill and change.
Flag bearers of individualism sing that Now a days its choice of a person whether they want to stay in shallow polygamy or deep monogamy as the economics, social structure has changed the dynamics of society and the pragmatics of marriage are giving way. Though they forget that its the society which provides the foundation for safe and practical individualism, without society they would be still hanging on a branch.
So much for individualism :-)
But trust me the story was awesome... speechless
she was true :)
Miss I just want to salute (y)