story of a mediocre....

am not a topper of my class
Neither am I the dumbest one
I reside somewhere between them.

I am not good at any sports,
But can't say if I am horrible at them.
To be frank I haven't even tried many of them.

When I was a kid, I use to some how manage to pass my classes ,
But eventually as I grew I became smarter enough to stay somewhere between the two extremes.

Each time I study I think I'll score well this time ,
But now there's no growth.
Peers tell me studious and scholar,
Parents tell me work harder to score good.
I try to outsmart myself each time I sit to study .
I study many books and web contents which even teachers might have not known .
But when I face the professor in viva I feel I am the dumbest person on the planet .

Friends watch football , play football
Sometimes when they don't have goalkeeper they call me too
When I play horribly they don't abuse me like they do to other players when they play bad , because they know I can't improve .

Other friend plays chess , cricket and table tennis equally well.
In fact he sometimes does better than me in academics too,
But I can't speak beyond-" I wish I could play that well".

Another friend studies well.
But he plays cricket well too.
He is not a mediocre ,
I am ,
I try not to be but can't help it .

When I was a kid I couldn't participate in any extra curricular activities,
As I had a pressure of passing my classes ,
I scored satisfactorily in my tenth and twelfth standards though
But I am just vegetating now. No signs of growth.

Annual day is near some classmates have started rehearsing for dance and drama
But I have never been on the stage ever in my life. Don't know how does that cookie tastes.

Most friends know some or the other girls .
But look at my desperation , I can't even do that well.

I play computer games ,
But again not at all an expert, just a player who knows, how to play ,but not to win.

I don't have any problems
But when I sometimes think about all these things
I feel I should have worked harder
Should have put more efforts
Should have focused on something I was good at

Parents have never complained about me
But how long will this banal and prosaic life go ahead
When will I be an expert at something ? I need some big change in my life.

I have never been rewarded
Those who know me find me gregarious and socializing
But only I know how egregious and introvert I am .
"Face the world with a smile , no one knows what's hidden inside.
They see all the happiness, they can't see the tears I've cried "

I don't have anyone to blame
But I wish I could have someone to motivate , encourage and boost my morale in this mediocrity .

But the best thing about me is that I never loose hope, I keep trying irrespective of what I get and might get .