I’m blind from birth. Dimensionless darkness is my landscape. My dreams have only sounds. I've turned 14. I have begun feeling strange. A strange tendency to multiply. But, I cannot conceptualize how?
People say there’s a creature out there; female. I know that she sounds sweet. However, I don’t know if the sweetness of her sound can settle the urge within me. On the contrary, it irritates the urge.
People suggest that having sex with her, will settle the urge within me. I don’t know what does having sex means? Does it mean that I just increase the intake of the sweet sound? I get erections, but don’t know what to do with them. Are the erections meant to be used on the female mouth, because that’s where the sound must be coming from? Does their tongue taste sweet? Do females have teeth? Well, in that case mouth doesn’t seem to be the right organ, logically
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I would like to touch a lady. They say it is bad if you do it without marriage. Would she be as soft as her sound? I would like to take her in my arms, and if possible merge myself in her. As in, fuse with her. But will then I lose myself in her? That’s horrible, to lose my existence at the cost of settlement of my urges. But I guess that’s not the case, because my father is intact and separate from my mother, physically. Bodies must not fuse permanently into each other. I wish they are separable, even if after a while.
I’m beginning to realize, no matter how long the arm of imagination is, it cannot bring the experience to you. However, people with the experience that I lack (i.e. vision), say that this is the very thing which pins down the imagination and doesn't let it take a flight! They say, with this sense people cannot "see" beyond the obvious.
