search for logic in love

I love you...wow it is so simple and beautiful!
But wait, where is the logic?
Why do I love you? Is it because you are smart or you are a good friend or i like your company or you are all mine or you are adventurous or i like your bike or you care for me or i enjoy being called your girlfriend or we had a few near perfect dates...or none of the above?
Being smart or well-built never counts because then i would have loved some model or actor, who puts all his life in looking handsome, instead of an engineer.
You are my good friend and I like your company but then there are many others too with whom I had great time. Moreover, you mostly dont give me advice when i ask for and are definitely not a good company in sad and depressing times.
Then what makes you so special that I have not only put my ego but also my self-respect, to some extend, aside just to be with you. I have given you the privilege to order me instead of request, to shout at me even for not that big fault of mine, to ignore me whenever you feel like... Why do have such privileges???
So far, you have never done anything extra ordinary for me which none other could have done, then why do i feel so different when am with you? Why an egoistic girl like me is not angry at you even though you have been hardly showing any respect. Why am I not able to leave you even though you hurt me and hardly care for me?
There is no logic. After long time, been 5 years, once again my mind and heart both are aligned and I must not look back this time. I am sorry and i know its gonna be tough but i promise I wont come back this time.... and so there was no explanatory call or message.