"..... It won't come to dropping a year. I am sure she'll crack it first time only", I was hiding behind the wall that separated our kitchen from the living room and was hearing my father talk to one of his colleagues.
Apparantly they were talking about AIPMT exam. I had recently given my 12th board exams and was preparing for AIPMT. But I knew I wasn't cut out for medical career. I never really liked the idea of me being in a white coat. My family, on the other hand would settle at nothing else. So unwillingly I had to try my luck in AIPMT. But somewhere deep inside, I knew I wouldn't be able to crack it, I just knew it. Something I knew , I had to keep my mouth shut and try. And try I did. The result; negative.
"So what do you plan to do now?" my friend, She asked. We were sitting in a restaurant enjoying some ice-cream.
"I don't know", I answered, looking at the ice-cream which was starting to melt now. Somehow it just lost its appeal.
"You should drop. I mean if you think you can crack it in your second try, then drop", she adviced.
"I don't know about that either, "I pushed the cup away. It made me want to puke.
"Think about it."
"I'll."
"You want to do what?" My father was furious, why was I not surprised?
"I want to drop this year. I'll crack this thing, I promise", I did all I could to persue him but was still angry.
"Fine", he agreed. I was aware of how much he believed in me, in my abilities. And that was what hurt me most, because I knew I did not have abilities, he believed blindly in. Yeah I was always on top in school but that was a different thing altogether. His expectations were just way too much.
One year passed by an the exam day came. I was nervous, jumpy, sweaty but confident that I'll pull this through. I have to, this was about my reputation, my ego.
The earth beneath my foot slipped away when I saw the question-paper. I could see a loom of dark spread before my eyes and my head started spinning.
I did not know how to do half of the paper. I was damned!
My father was not very pleased when I told him I did horribly in the exam. But he still had some hope.
"How blindly he trusts in me." I felt guilty.
But the result was again negative. And then he said something, I couldn't say if it was out of anger or he really meant it but he said, "She's done nothing. There are people who topped with 685 marks She's not even in the league!"
At that time I felt a sharp jab in my heart and I realized I didn't know what hurt me more, his blind trust in me or his not trusting me at all.
