The difficulty i have is in the usual greeting, gratitude, apology and especially appeal to someone in person. No, it's not a story about my "perfect" social adaptation. Somehow it turns out for all the talk, even if the conversation takes place among 3-4 people, I never speak to someone in person. I kind of like talking with people, and like all this talk is going on in my head, between the images of the people with whom I speak, and me. It's hard to explain, though just imagine that you have glassy eyes and you look at nothing and do not see anything as well. I'll call it "looking inward" when such associations come. So even when I'm with talking with someone else more like some kind of monologue in my head. When I speak to someone, I'll just throw out all about what I'm thinking and those with whom I speak are by some catalysts for these reflections. It even does not matter. The fact is that I do not perceive other people as if I'm the one existing in the world, but I do not consider myself the center of mass. It would have been closer to some schizophrenia. I understand that there are people more important than me and I'm just one of the pieces of shit, but at the same time there are other people I did not perceive. In general, if you go back to the very beginning, for me it's kind of wildness, it also means that I have to somehow perceive the person as something that matters. Maybe it's just selfishness? And I want to sleep. I am not even sure if tomorrow i'll understand my writings.
To be precise, i don't get what i just wrote so you can go ahead and mark it Humm.
