Everyone has his own reasons of being happy! It is the happiness which we seek all the time! We do something, we like it, we do it again because that brought us happiness first time and so it will again, and with this belief we keep on adding the sources of happniess to our lives! We often look back to our lives, and sometimes it is the memoirs that bring us the smile and make us feel lucky!
But, I am not concerned with what brings happiness to people! this time I am concerned about myself! I present solutions to my mates and acquaintances very easily! But, why it happens with me that I am blank about my own problems! When it comes to myslef, my brain stops working and my heart starts weeping! I am not that weak! but, yes I do feel! and I hate it sometimes! I wish I would not have feelings, but again I am not happy with the idea because when I have no feelings I feel like a living dead! and I feel like an alien who is unaware of human emotions!
I just want to ask Him one question : Why this everytime!! I am not asking why me! But I am asking why so ! Why so everytime in all the matters! I know I can stand the hardest of the times, but does that mean that I deserve those times??? Yes, this sounds offending and like I am complaining, but this is it! I am sick of my thougths and words like " I don't know" .. Yes, things happen to me and I don't know why so! I am frustrated this time! I shouldnot have been writing this all, but I am ! Because if I wont write I am afraid I may go mad in my head some day! It was the worst thing ever that I stopped writing! I don't want to cry again in front of any other human being, no matter how close he/she may be to me! crying in front of others make me feel like a destitue! Like I am all alone! Yes, I am alone, but I don't want mercies. When HE does show me no mercy then why His people would! Yes, I am being negative! but this is what I am feeling at this very time and I cannot deny it! I cannot deny my own feelings! I cannotl lie to my own self by saying "all is well" when all is not at all well! If I keep on pacifying myself this way, then I would keep on sleeping with some fairy world imaginations in my dreams! But, no more! I cannot put my feelings in the cold storage! For it has always been my true feelings with me that kept me on my way! Today if they are bad and like those of a looser, then how cruel of myself be if I ignore them! For it is my feelings that show me the way!!! Yes, I had started ignoring them! and today I find myself disturbed! I am not gonna let this thing keep going anymore!
sometimes, we need to empty our minds of our thoughts, no matter whatever kind they may be! If we don't we remain disturbed which keeps us stucked to one spot! WAIT is not good sometimeS! Especially when it comes to feelings, don't wait! Know them and tackle them on spot!!! For if you wait, your feelings will die, but they will keep disturbing you all the time by appearing in different forms!
This is so random piece of writing I may have ever posted, but this is it! I am random and I don't give a damn care to what others think about it! If it is true me, it is surely gonna lead me somewhere!
do give time to your bad feelings! Never feel discouraged! feeling down is a part of your life, only then you can differentiate the joy of happiness from it if you have tasted the worst things! When you find a door closed, just remember that it was fixed there by someone in the wall!!! you can make also do the same! ALLah may bring you in front of the locked doors, but HE never forgets to give you the keys too! and He loves those who learn to Use the KEYS!!!
