Its been after so long that I am penning down my thoughts. I have so much inside me but I do not know where to begin from. I always keep on asking myself am I sad, or am I happy... Why am I sad... And my quest always ends up in sleep. I don't how many of my age undergo through this dilemma of deep inside feelings. I sometimes feel that I am the only one who doesn't have a life. May I am the only one who hasn't moved on life, who doesn't know how to have fun, who doesn't know to go crazy. I wonder if I have changed, I used to be the happiest earlier, friends used to call me laughter queen, my voice was the loudest among the crowd, people used the adjective fun loving for me. So what has changed, is it me or the world around me, or may I haven't adapted myself to changes which came along with time. All my old friends have a hell lot of new friends, why is it only me who hasn't made any new friends, its not that I never attempted to socialize, the reason is I failed in socializing. Is it my inferiority complex that has taken over... Though friends call me egoistic.. I don't why such a thing happened to me... May be it is because I faced only rejections in for an entire... Happiness came after a long time.. but that too didn't last for a very long time..
I never faced rejections before.. I was always on the popular side..
Always surrounded with people... But now things are just opposite.. I am on the lonely.. I sometimes feel I want to be only because I never make the first attempt to go and talk to someone.. But the truth is I want others to come and start a conversation.. Its because I am shy but i never realized that I was shy before..
Am I out of my dream world??? Or the world has changed...
I want to be happy go lucky kind of girl again.. Everyday I wish that today would be anew beginning.. But at night again I am in quest for happiness..
And I realized that whatever I have written is full of pessimism. I hate to be pessimist but this what I have become.. Maybe tomorrow's sunshine will light up my life with the charm of happiness............
