I hate you...
I really do...
Genuinely.
In fact; you are the sole reason because of which I am starting to hate my self; bit by bit.
Now; life seemed very much relaxed and calm before you became part of it. I have to admit; you mesmerized me with your charm initially. The experience of holding you was pulse racing, the world seem beautiful and I wanted to explore it more and more with you. But slowly you overtook me, my conscious,subconscious decisions,habits,lifestyle and attitude. Sometimes I want to go west; want to explore it,but since you won't be there with me,I have to turn my head to the east coast.
May be it was my fault. May be; I should not have let you taken over me. I made a mistake in recognizing you. Now hanging around with you every time makes me feel slave because its YOU who; people wants to see and not me. My life, my identity has now solely depend on you. I pretty much liked the way I was in childhood; where even though I felt your presence but you never approached me like the way now you have.
I can't say I am sad because of you. That would be highly incorrect; But I am not happy also. I missed sleeping under the open sky; but I also value the bed on which I sleep every night because of you. There was a time when I was passionate about you. You were the only thing in the whole world that I could ever ask for. But gradually you rooted in me. Deep. So deep that friends,family,relations; did not meant anything but just a word for me.
They say time is you and it heals everything but they don't know that you are the one who gives all the wounds and then time has to clean all your shit.- Pawan
