There has always been a reason for everything that brought me pain. My mind works better in pain! I am more active, more sharp, more lonely, yet more responsive at the some time! That may be to hide that plight, but it always works!! therefore I don't complain about it, because it is what I remember I used to pray to my Allah (God) _ take away everything but please don't devoid me of my activeness, my love for Him and my love for my studies!!

Now I realize, that it was the way He is fulfilling my prayer, (I had indirectly asked Him for pain) may be that was the best He had planned for me! yet, m happy in pain because I feel close to Him! I love every mean which brings me closer to that Supreme Power!

But,I am a human being, I also have some desires and wishes, that sometimes I get exhausted by that loneliness of mine! I mean, it seems nobody knows me even when everybody is in touch with me! All the second thoughts then get together from my whole nervous system and give a real hard time to my heart! In such times, I just want to pour all those feelings out of me! Here again, a new pain is born when the tears instead of shedding away become the "headache"... I cannot even shed tears because my eyes get swollen so readily and I hate people asking "what happened", I sometimes wish to tell them, Oh man! telling you won't escape me from the cage of my sufferings! ... it really aches when I have to blink my eyes so frequently to put a barrier to my tears when they blur my eyes but it is just not the right time to pour them out!!! The only one option left to me is just to rush to my bed, lie down to sleep ...where my pillow, getting wet, absorbs all my pain! but, I feel better when I get up later on...

Yes, senses don't work in pain!!! it is only when we hold back ourselves from crying! Crying may not solve your problem! but it surely can make you feel light! Pain is not that bad, for it has always been the pain that helped me to stay focused on my work! But don't let the pain of your heart become the frozen tears in your head!! because stagnant things are of no good! let your ice melt away! clear your mind of anything that may give you flash backs of your hard times even in the light of "happiness"... As the thick blood blocks your veins, making you sluggish, similarly that blocked river of your tears can put a full stop to your thinking capability! Do a favor to your heart and let the river flow!!!

A heart that cries, deserves to be pacified, for it is the one which stands by you all the time! Tears that shed escape your heart from the shackles of agony!

Loneliness does not hurt if you know how to relief yourself! for me, the person who cannot find the means of pacifying his own soul, can
not bring a soothing effect to others' pains!

Be not afraid of pain, don't even complain because He is never cruel to His people, but "Understand" and that is what He wants us to do in order to give us what we need... You cannot feel the worth of happiness unless you have been through pain! & You cannot be happy unless you know how to tackle your pangs!

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