Trimming my beard on Sunday evening while getting ready for Monday's office, a rush of disappointment ran through me once again. Abhi Gulmarg ke kisi hotel mein hote, brushing aside the thought, I tried to focus on a patch of stubble which seemed uneven. Gadar thand hoti, bahar barf gir rahi hoti, dinbhar ghum ke thakne ke baad coffee pee rahe hote aur bakait kaat rahe hote.. "No! Think about tomorrow's office!" I told myself.

It has been the same story for previous two days, a rush of the feeling of disappointment, and me trying hard to push it out, mostly unsuccessfully. 12.20 ho rahe hain, flight ke take off ka time, Terminal 1D se plane take off ke liye ready hoga, air hostess seat belt lagane ka instruction de rahi hogi... "Concentrate on that speed breaker, damn it!" I told myself as I rode on my bike while such thoughts came unbidden over and over again.

Some ominous signs had been there for some days, but I kept telling others, as well as myself, "Even if nobody comes, I will go alone, I don't care!", but here I am, dejected, disappointed, wondering and even laughing at the hilarious coincidences, which forced the cancellation of a much awaited trip...

I am talking about the would be trip to Kashmir valley with with some very good friends. It was meant to be a fitting end to an awesome three month period for me, in which I went to all sort of places, to a wildlife sanctuary, to a silent island far away from India, to the source of the greatest river of central India, explored the Great Indian Northern Plains on my bike, took part in the largest human congregation, witnessed the coal mines of eastern Madhya Pradesh, tasted exquisite Rajasthani delicacies in Rajasthan, and was finally going to the heaven on earth, Kashmir.

I had booked the flight tickets more than a month ago, when SpiceJet launched its cheap tickets scheme. This idea occurred to me, and hastily, before the seats get filled up, I asked some friends and booked the tickets. I even booked tickets for a few of them without even asking them, hoping they would come. And except Rungta, rest all were ready and actually excited to go. Even the depressing guys like Saboo were excited for this one.

All trips face a few hurdles, this trip was no different. Just that it got so many hurdles, it could even make a non-believer believe in the theory of divine intervention. It started with beheading of two Indian soldiers at the border, and heating up of cross border issues. That was the first signal of destiny,"Dude! Cancel your trip!" "Fuck off!" I said. Every evening, I anxiously tuned to Arnab Goswami's show, hoping things cool down, hoping they don't get too escalated... Well, that issue did faded off in a fortnight or so, and I said "Screw you destiny! I am going Kashmir!". Destiny retorted, "Not so easy lad! Take this!". Indian Government suddenly decided to hang Afzal Guru and coronate him as Bhagat Singh of Kashmir. Perfect coincidence! He was sentenced to death a decade ago, his hanging till now was hanging in a limbo, and destiny suddenly infused a hard decision making instinct in the otherwise impotent government, and tightening a noose around our trip.

Protests, curfews and close-downs in Kashmir followed, heated up prime time news debates followed. A fresh bout of snowfall and rainfall coincided with these protests. Now parents started to get worried, "Its not safe", they said, "Let the money of tickets go", they said, "Let your friends go, you don't go", they said.

It started to seem inevitable that one or two might back off. Shiny was the first one to break down, and back out. Sanyam, her 'close' friend, followed (expected?),he tells that coincidentally, some Dr. Bajaj who lives in Srinagar took the pain to frighten his parents, and the parents, who generally let him decide his own matters, now took back their permission to him to go to Kashmir, and he, who is so good at reasoning people out, meekly accepted.

There was also an ominous silence from Saundarya and Patel in discussions for the trip. And such silences from them generally mean they have got a different curry cooking in their mind. I took the clue and called Saundarya on Thursday evening, and she confirmed my doubts. Apparently, her parents were apprehensive as well. Patel, for some mysterious reason, or simply for no reason at all, had lost interest in going to Kashmir.

So somehow, these two couples backed out, and coincidently, each of the two of both couples had reasons completely and mutually exclusive to each others' and had no role in each others' backing out. I believed it all, really, no kidding, I did. After all it isn't that hard to believe considering the other coincidences mentioned before and after it.

Anyways, it boiled down to 6 of us: Me, Vishen, Saboo, Parihar, Nidhi and Shilpa, and 6 of us were going, that was final and done. I had gone to Kota on Thursday and was going to return to Delhi on Saturday morning. The plan was to return on morning, pack my bags, trim my beard, take a shower and leave for airport. Lying on my birth in the train headed for Delhi, as the clock ticked midnight, I was wondering that even after so many issues and hurdles, it is finally happening, the 2nd of March is here, and I am going to Kashmir, it is all settled and nothing wrong could happen now.

But hold on! Mr. Destiny is still here in the story, he smiled slightly and said, "You think so?" and landed the final KO blow. I woke up at 5am as the train crossed Faridabad when I received an SMS. I shrugged it off, Must be an Airtel Service message, Welcome to Haryana or some other shit.. but few minutes later, I got curious and got up to read the message. It was from Nidhi, "I cannot come, please cancel my ticket". DAFUQ!! ho gayi bakchodi. "What happened?" I asked, "Dadi had a minor heart attack, she is in ICCU"... Great! I started to write a reply, but couldn't think of one, I was still sleepy, and was not able to grip properly what just happened. "Take care of her" I replied finally, and started laughing, of course, it was Mr. Destiny who had the last laugh, I just laughed at his explicitness. Nidhi not going meant Shilpa could not go as well, as she was the only girl left in the group. Had this attack come few hours late, we might well have taken off to Srinagar. Had this attack come 1 day earlier, we might have arranged a trekking trip for the remaining guys. But no! The timing of the heart attack, just like the timing of the hanging of Afzal Guru was bang on! It was incredible, I couldn't help but laugh.

As expected, Shilpa had to finally give up as well. I told myself what I had been telling myself before, "Even if nobody comes, I will go alone, I don't care!", well, apparently I did care, or at least was not ready for this last minute surprise. Parihar and Saboo also said immediately when told, "Cancel all the tickets yaar, 4 log kya hi karenge." Vishen has always been the go-to person for me when in doubt. I was in doubt then, and I needed his advice. Unfortunately, he was asleep and didn't pick up his fone, so I messaged him, heeded to advice of Parihar and Saboo and cancelled the tickets.

Vishen called up few hours later and said very forcefully "Apan 4 hi chalte hain yaar!", as always, he had the positive motivation and I was almost immediately convinced, but I had already cancelled the tickets. Had he picked up the phone before, I perhaps would not have cancelled the tickets. More co-incidence? He was completely psyched out. His ticket was separate from the group, and wasn't cancelled yet. He even said angrily, "Main akela hi chala jata hun", and he might well be in Kashmir right now for all I know.

In the hindsight, I feel we should have still gone, disappointment of not having a trip as planned is still better than disappointment of not having the trip at all! We were still 4, we could and should have had gone, but the timing and shock took the better of our decision making, and here I am, lamenting the trip, writing about those freak hangings, heart attaks and heart breaks....

Tags: Travel

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