"Survival of the fittest." I heard my father say, I was just a child then. "What does this mean daddy?" I asked and he made me understand what it meant. That simply to live in life you have to struggle, fight and earn your place in this world. Run! or the world will leave you behind in this race that is what everybody said.I did pay no attention to it then neither I do now. What I dreamed was to change the saying to 'Survival of the sickest'.
My life took off as I was admitted to nursery classes. As it was the first step to the dream my parents dreamed of. Like every child I enjoyed my time at school. I used be home sick and cry for my mother at times.As time passed by I reached higher grades and was moving towards that dream of my parents. Right from the beginning I knew it was not going to be easy to prove myself right.
I was average in studies but I never stepped back to participate in any competition or curricular activity. Dancing, singing, painting, quizzes, plays to news reading, reciting to writing anything and my name was present. I loved to live this way. Irrespective of what others thought and how I performed I never gave up in any of these. Among all this performing well in academics was also important and I performed good enough although not the best. My parents would be disappointed with me for not making it to the best in academics, although they encouraged me in all the other activities which I took part. They wanted their son to be the best in every field.
Slowly as more and more time passed the pressure to do well in academics became the main motto of my life. Or probably I had to make it so. Life seemed to be tougher, but by now I had some friends who were there with me studying since my nursery classes. I loved their friendship a lot although I had never tested how much true they were.
In order to attain better and the best, my parents changed my school. It was going well but the thing I missed the most was those practices and rehearsals. This school had very less functions or occasions in which one could participate.Though I never missed a single opportunity which came in my way. Time passed as more and more pressure came in. I loved to paint but slowly I had to forget it to cover up my days time. Then suddenly a time came when I missed my old friends very very much. The time which we had spent together for all those years. I loved them. I missed them. I remember crying at night when no one watched.
My life had become worse, ever more than it was before when I met a gifted friend from God. I don't hesitate to say that she was a girl. She became one of my most dearest friend. We used to share all our secrets and enjoy our time together. Perhaps this was the time when I needed her and she arrived. My life wasn't as good as it was before but it went on somehow. Next I met with another beautiful thing from the almighty - the game of football which became my first love and my life. Slowly and slowly I got so addicted that not a single day passed without thinking of the game.
I still knew how well I had to do in academics to reach where my parents wanted me to. But by the time I had developed my own thinking and wished to live my own life. When I told this to my parents they were upset. I told them that I dreamed to play football at the highest level someday. My parents didn't believe in living big dreams and they told me that they would never come true. They told me that I was physically not built to do good in sports. I believed in myself and my love for the game, I believed that nothing is impossible. I tried to show my parents how people who had acute diseases struggled to become the world's best and how they made impossible possible. They still thought it was a foolish dream and that I needed to put my legs on the ground.
Getting a good job and a good car and other expensive items meant life would be successful according to them. Of course money is important but happiness? As I tip-toed my way further, difficulties seemed to rush in with more and more academic pressure. I was banned from going to the field, I became frustrated, except school and tuition I had to stay at home. I had my computer in front of me and thus got into it so as to get some glimpse of my love, football.
My parents at no cost would see me getting into the game. Although I never left hope and secretly used to run away after my classes to the field.
My results started deteriorating. My parents were always worried with me as I was to begin my plus two. I wasn't able to cope up the pressure. Me and my best friend hardly met now. I missed the days spent with her and her friendship. Yet was happy that she was still with me and hoped everyday that I would get some more precious moments to share with her. The separation had somehow made our relationship more strong. Having lost football from my life. I now had only her. My marks came to me as high speed bullets with a needle upfront. At the beginning they were unbearable but I got used to them. And then the thing I feared the most the only person whom I had thought to be my true friend left me. I had no friends, the ones so called were always fake. I had no one to share what I felt. I tried to share it with my parents but gave up as most of the time they didn't understand.
I had seen so much by now that I became NUMB. I had no one to share what I felt. Finally I took my pen and started writing and putting in all what was there in me in form of stories and poems.I started jolting everything down. It gave me relief and some happiness I wished for. Not that writing came to me suddenly. But when I mixed my life with it, I felt good and a lot better.The pen and paper had become my new friends. That is how my story begins to change the 'fittest to the sickest' with a pen which is mightier than the sword and my thoughts. I don't know how far I will go but one thing that I know for sure is I will never give up!
