My phone beeped twice, I searched for it beside my pillow. My eyes were so sleepy that I couldn’t read the sender’s name at first. It was 7.30 am in the morning. Who the hell was messaging me so early in the morning, I thought. I opened the message—have you heard the news, sir has passed away!
I blinked my eyes and read the message again, sender was Avi, one of my school friend. The sleepy half consciousness of mine was gone. I called him, my heart beating so fast. Avi answered in a broken voice,” Our Satya Sir had passed away last night, they are bringing him in his residence. Come as fast as you can.”
My heart sank with a heavy blow of pain and grievance. I knew sir had been admitted in Medica Superspeciality hospital in Mukundpur since last week. In fact I had planned to go to see him there that day. My wish remained unfulfilled. Sir had been reportedly having cardiac problems. He had undergone Angioplasty last year. This time his condition was more serious than before. There had been chance of multiple organ failure. But all of us hoped against hopes. I thought that he would be cured, again he would scold me for not trying to make it to IIT. But he had left this earthly world , leaving hundreds of his students alone, guideless. That day was an holiday, `Saraswati ‘ puja.After the call I got up in hurry, quickly brushed and bathed. I didn’t want to miss the chance of seeing him for one last time. It was 9.30 when I reached Bidhannagar Station. I cursed the goddamn traffic in Kolkata, my bus took 20 minutes extra than it should have. Adding to my bad luck the train was late too.
When I arrived in B-6/29 ,Kalyani, sir wasn’t there this time ,seating on a chair in his lawn. Only in the drawing room, his wife ,Jaya aunty was mourning and crying. Her friends , neighbours were trying to console her . I saw my mom there too .She is a daily passenger colleague cum friend of aunt's. It was so lonely out there despite of all those people. The main figure of this house, with his charismatic brilliance and character was absent. I was standing at the door of the study room, which one day echoed sir’s lectures, motivating yet friendly speeches and advices,it was so absurdly silent and vacant.
I didn’t notice when mom came standing next to me. She rebuked me for not coming early. She said they had taken his body to the Halisahar crematorium. My voice choked with emotions. I vowed any how I would see him for one last time. I had to give him my respect, I had to take his blessings touching his feet for one last time . I can’t leave this wish unfulfilled, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. Mom had told me repeatedly about sir’s illness, and advised me to meet him in the Medica hospital. I too had wanted to go. Mukundpur is two bus stops away from my hostel. However ,having different pressures of studies and activities in college, I couldn’t manage time. I felt guilty for not meeting him in the hospital.
………
Satya sir was a genius in mathematics. He used to teach at our school. Every student ,teacher, staff respected and loved him for his brilliance and determination towards teaching. Sir had arthritis .His legs, hands were partially paralyzed due to wrong diagnosis. He had high blood pressure also. Despite of all these adversities he was very passionate towards his profession. Sir had private batches also. He was not only the best mathematics teacher of our school but also of our town. I, myself, think that there still are very few mathematics geniuses in this state like him. Hundreds of his students , under his guidance , have become successful doctors, engineers ,government officers. To us he was not only the mathematics teacher but also our career councilor, guide and friend. He was a man of versatility. Sir sometimes used recite poetry for us. He encouraged us in extracurricular activities too. His motivational advices using Bengali proverbs, humorous comments, brilliant techniques of solving sums used to amaze us.
I still remember how he used to tell us success stories of his pass out students to encourage us to achieve the best of us! I used to dream of becoming an engineer from IIT . When I got the unexpected result in Madhyamik , I had broken down. I used to be the topper of my class. I surely didn’t expect such result, even none of my teachers did! After that unfortunate incident I lacked confidence and self esteem. I was under too much depression .I lost my zeal to studies that I used to have. Sir was by my side then. He consoled me and advised,” Take life as it appears. Form is temporary but class is permanent. Sometimes bad luck happens. In aggregate you may not reached your targeted score, but see ,in science subjects you excelled! Math and science are your forte. Look forward, don’t think of the past. You have it in you, I see it. You can make it to the IIT still, your dream career. “
But I ignored all these advices. I thought if so much hard work couldn’t bring my desired result, if luck could decide everything , then I would never succeed. My bad luck would seal my fate. How fool I was! When I understood my mistake, it was too late. I couldn’t get selected in IIT, even in WBJEE my rank was not so good. However ,In board exam I got considerable good marks for our West Bengal Board, 87% . Now I am in a private engineering college . Sir, your favourite student has become an average student now.
I was so sorry. I couldn’t apologize to Sir for not listening to his advices. My dream used to his too. But, I failed him. The cool breeze hushed past beside my ears. I was in my dad’s bike, going to halisahar. Tears blurred my vision.
They i.e Sir’s relatives were in a queue in the burning ghat carrying sir’s cot. Sir was covered with white flowers. He was wearing Kurta and Dhoti , lying stiff in the white bed. He still had been wearing his high power spectacles, the walking stick was lying beside his bed. I wanted to keep the walking stick or the spectacles as a memento and a sign of blessings of Satya sir. However,my wish wasnt approved by his relatives there.The mixed smell of burning candles , rajanigandha flowers, incense sticks made the air heavy. I touched Sir’s feet and apologized .I asked for his blessings silently. Uncontrollable emotions choked my voice and flushed my eyes with tears . He was the `MENTOR’ in my life who was by my side in the toughest times . He never ever doubted my capabilities. I couldn’t be his ideal student .I couldn’t give him the `guru dakshina’..
I didn’t wait for burning his body. Actually I couldn’t. Pain, sorrow , repentance were flowing over my heart and mind. The setting sun reflected its orange rays on the `Ganga’ river. A great man with his genius intellect, prevision, charismatic character and other innumerable qualities had left this earthly and set for his eternal journey.
