My First Kiss

I kicked my bike, and start to leave for the Shahdara Metro Station. I was thinking about her all the time. How we become the best friends, how we progressed our friendship from Facebook to Whatsapp and then to Video chats, how she let me see her with her hair messed up, no makeup, wearing an old t-shirt, and how I still can't take my eyes off her. And then how we are about to meet for the first time. We were best friends, but somewhere in between I always have a feeling for her, a sort of crush. But I decided to resist my heart to feel for her because our friendship was pure and much better than the so-called relationships of these days. But, we all know, once we start liking an individual we can't stop thinking and caring about them. But, on the other hand I also didn’t want to spoil our precious Friendship. Let me tell you how we decided to meet. We were in contacts for more than two years, we chatted daily and after few months we used to talk for long hours in night. I always ask to meet her, but she always denies my proposal to meet her. After the result of my 12th board class, I managed to get admission in Delhi's most prestigious and one of the most top Engineering college of India. I tell her about my admission; she was too happy for me and asked me for a treat. I said to her that we needed to meet for her treat. This time she didn't refuse to meet. At last she said a yes to meet me. My heartbeat got faster. Finally, we decided to meet. I was happy, super happy in this case.
My phone ranged. I stop my bike to receive the call. ‘Where are you? I’m here waiting for you”, she asked me. ”Five minutes more to catch you babe’, I answered her. “Sure! Dumbo, Come soon, waiting’. She laughed and cut the phone. I reached the Shahdara Metro Station. I parked my bike and went into the station. My eyes were constantly searching for her. Here and there, everywhere!, I looked everywhere, but din’t receive a single glance of her. At last I saw her at the Exit gate. The first time I saw her, my heart whispered, Go Raghav! She is the one. She was wearing a Red color suit with heavy bangles, her earrings were small but they were big enough to get my attention. She was looking so stunning. She was the goddess of beauty. I didn’t want to remove my eyes from her. Dear Girls, Western culture makes you hot and sexy, but believe me Indian culture makes you beautiful. I was going closer to her. But she hasn’t seen me yet. At last we encountered each other. Our eyes meet for the first time, we smiled for a while. I leaned my hand toward her for a handshake, but she ignored that and suddenly come to me and gives me a tight hug. I hugged her too. Anyone can make me smile, but she was the person who makes me happy. Happy from deep inside. We both couldn’t believe that we meet in actual. We just share some laugh and move on.
I asked her, ’Shreya, where are we supposed to go now, we haven’t decided yet?”,
She replied, “I don’t know, It’s your time for a treat, you tell me, where you want to go.”
Somewhere deep inside, my heart screamed, “Tu bin bataye mujhe le chal kahi, jaha tu muskuraye meri manjil wahi.” But unfortunately, I controlled my feelings and asked her, “How about the Dominos?”
She nodded and we went for the Dominos, next to the station. All we had just some casual and funny chats during our way. We reached the Dominos. Luckily we find a two person table in the corner. We ordered two meals. We enjoyed the meal. All the time I was gazing at her face. I was in love with her. I wanted to be that special guy with whom she loves making secrets not just sharing secrets.‎ I wanted to tell her every damn emotion I feel for her. My heart was beating for that special girl of my life. But I couldn’t tell her what I feel for her. Our friendship was above than everything, above my feelings too, although my feelings for her were pure, but still I wasn’t allowed to spoil the friendship. I was looking at her while chatting. Suddenly she stopped while talking.
“I’m just coming in few minutes’’; she stood up and said to me.
I asked her,”Where are you going?”
“Washroom”, she said and started to laugh in a girly manner and left.
While I was alone with some leftovers of pizzas on table, I was completely lost in thoughts of her, I was in dilemma. Should I propose her? Does she feel for me? Will she understand and act normal if I propose her? Millions of questions strike in my mind. I was completely trapped in my mind. At last I decided to toss a coin. If Heads came, I will propose her, If tails, I will bury my feelings in grave. Cool! I tossed a coin. The coin was in air for not more than 2-3 seconds, but that time was like a million of years. My heart screamed, Heads Please, Heads Please!” At last the coin falled on my hand, I hide it in both of my hands. I wanted a Heads. I left my hand, it was a Tails. I wanted to go back in the past and to change the option of Tails. But I couldn’t. I got a heart break. I have to forget about the girl, who was more than a life to me. I love Shreya, so much as no one can love her in that way. I was supposed to hide my feelings. But in fact I wanted to scream so loud that the whole world could listen that how much I love her and what does she meant to me. But I couldn’t. I agreed not to prose her, after all our friendship doesn’t allow that. I wanted to cry. But I decided to smile and act normal. Suddenly my mood lowers down. I was feeling very lonely. While I was still in my thoughts, Shreya came.
“Hey! Boring man, come and let’s go somewhere else. I nodded and replied to her, “Sure! Mam”. She looked at me and we both started to laugh.
We agreed to go for Pacific mall, next building to the station. Half of the mall was empty. Most of the persons were staff persons of the mall. As we had decided to meet on a weekday, so very few visitors were there. Most of the persons were busy in their Schools, Colleges or in their 9-6 pm boring job. But I was lucky; I was with the person I loved the most. All of a sudden.
Shreya asked me, “Can you do me a favor?”
I replied, “Yes! Just order my Mam.”
“Please sing a song for me”, she requested.
I refused to sing but she kept asking for me to sing for her. At last I agreed to sing. I started, but burst out into laughing. She laughed too. But she again asked me to sing. This time I fell motivated and started to sing again.
“Tear muses hay pale kea neat koi, you hi nail dill legate koi, Jane to yam Jane an, mane to yam an mane an”, I sang and started to laugh again. But this time, Shreya doesn’t laugh. She wanted to hear me more. So on demand of her, I again sang a song for her. At first I was feeling shy, but now I really liked that. After the singing, we were roaming here and there in the mall. The mall was empty. So she wanted to play. One time I took a pause while walking and started to tie my shoe lace. All of a sudden, Shreya punched on my head and start running. Dear boys, if a girl shows her your craziest side, don’t ever let her go. I began to chase her. At last I caught her and punched her in head. She really liked that fun. I enjoyed her playing too. Now, we were tired of walking and didn’t have the power to reach even at the elevator. We were at the top floor of the mall. Where no one came. We decided to take rest for few minutes. We were sitting on a bench, talking with each other. Our hands were touching several times; I guess she doesn’t take a notice of that. But for me, it was like a spark in my heart. I want to hold her hands. During our chat, her face was seizing my attention towards her. Her eyes were beautiful, they had a charm every person wants to see, her cheeks were chubby and too much cute, and her lips were very pink and soft. I wanted to kiss her lips, but didn’t have the courage to kiss them. I was constantly looking at her face. She noticed me.
“What are you looking at?” she asked me.
“Nothing, can you do me a favor this time?” I asked her.
“Sure! Sir”, she said and started to laugh.
I was frightened to speak, feeling very hesitated, but I show my courage and asked her, “Can I kiss you?”
“Are you out of your mind? I didn’t expect this from you Raghav”, she said to me.
“Oh god! Couldn’t you resist your immense feelings in your heart, Raghav?” my brain asked to me.
“Sorry! Shreya, I am really sorry, please forgive me, I will not do any cheap thing time’, I tried to ask for a pardon.
“Okay!’ she replied rudely.
Now I didn’t have any courage to say anything, I guessed her neither. We were quiet and still. No one was moving even an inch. We were quiet as sculpture. I felt sorry for asking a kiss. I wanted to slap myself. I made her uncomfortable. I was lost in my thoughts. She was checking her cell phone, we were sitting so quiet, even a drop of pin could make a ton of noice. But, all of sudden, she broke the silence, and said to me to close my eyes.
“Why, what’s the matter?” I asked her.
“Oh please close your eyes Raghav”, she requested.
I closed my eyes. She hold my hands, my heartbeat got faster. She gave me a small peck of kiss on my cheeks. I was flying on the clouds of happiness. I couldn’t believe that she kissed me. I opened my eyes; she denied making an eye contact. She was blushing. She was looking very pretty while blushing; she took my heart once again.
“Now it’s my turn to kiss you on your cute cheeks”, I said to her while looking at her chubby cheeks.
“Umm, okay!” she said and avoid making an eye contact. She started to laugh.
I leaned towards her. I kissed on her cheeks. I kissed them so tight. I bite her cheeks, she said an ouch but she didn’t refuse me to do so further, I bite her once cheeks once again. She really liked that. I stopped. We both started to laugh again. She always knew how to make me happy. Now after the kissing, whenever we had an eye contact we started to laugh. After few minutes, we come to our usually chats. Everything was normal once again. But her lips were still seizing my attention. They were very soft. I wanted to feel them. I wanted to kiss them. I was in need to kiss them. Our eye contact was ending for long. I was lost in her. All of a sudden Shreya started to laugh.
“What? Why are you laughing so hard?” I asked her.
“Nothing, dude”, she said.
“Oh! Please tell me Shreya”, I requested her.
“No, you will laugh, if I tell you”, she said.
“No, I will not laugh”, I replied to her.
“Can I hug you?” she asked to me and start blushing.
Girls are so good in expressing their feeling. Boys are poor in this. She simply asked for a hug, and I couldn’t say a no to her.

“Umm, okay!” I told her and I guess somewhat I was blushing too.
We both stood up. We made an eye contact. We move forward to hug each other. My heartbeat was beating very faster. We hugged. The moment was breath taking. I was completely lost in her arms. Nothing came to my mind. I was totally blank. I just wanted to remain forever in her arms. I was in the moment. I wanted to stop the every damn second passing. I was happy. I wanted to tell her my feelings for her. I wanted her to be mine. I decided to propose her. I know I was taking a risky step, but I wasn’t able to win my heart. I lose my heart to her.
“Shreya!” I said to her.
“Hmm. What?” she asked to me.
“I want to tell you something”, I told her.
“Yes?” she said.
I was about to confess my feelings for her. But all of a sudden her phone rang. I did not want to leave her. I wanted her to listen me. But, she takes her steps back and takes out her mobile phone from her carry bag. I took a quick view of her phone. It was Rahul’s call. Rahul was her ex-boyfriend. Rahul was the person, I hated most. Shreya used to tell me about her and Rahul stories. How they became friends and then lovers, how Rahul proposed her in the so-called most romantic way and how they are separated now. But still they are going to remain friends forever. Shreya told me that they were very close to each other. Every time Shreya told me about Rahul, a part of me dies inside me every time, I just wanted to leave the planet, where there will be no Rahul, only me and my Shreya. But, unfortunately, Rahul was her Mr. Handsome. Shreya picked his call. She was talking about some movies stuff. She agreed by Rahul to go on a movie date with him. My Heart break in millions of pieces. I wanted to cry, but I can’t. I wanted to kill Rahul, but Shreya was happy, this was making me feeling worse. Few minutes back, I was living the sweetest part of my life, Shreya was with me in my arms, but now I was nothing more than a living corpse. I cancelled my plan to propose her once again. I agreed to bury my feelings once again. I wanted to die. I wanted to leave alone. My face was looking like a Chicken who knows that he is the next to die, I guess she notice that. But I had to wait for my Shreya to cut her phone. I hated that frustrating moment when the person you love talking to, starts talking a lot about someone whom you don't even know. Her call last for more than 10 minutes. After an enjoying chat full with laughs Shreya cut the phone and give me a smile. I gave her a fake smile too.
“Oh Sorry Raghav”, she said to me.
“It’s okay!” I replied her back.
“So, what’s your important stuff, dude?” Shreya asked me.
“What?” I asked her while pretending that I have nothing to know about what was she asking.
“You were going to say something important before the call”, she said to me.
“No, nothing important, leave it”, I replied her back.
“Oh Come on, let’s say na” she said to me in a voice full of curiosity.
I wanted to tell her that how much I love her. I wanted to tell her that what does she meant to me. But all I just have to watch that Rahul took her my life once again and still I can’t do anything about that. I was full. I didn’t want to see my best friend alone with her Rahul. I wanted to end my feelings for her. I wanted to see her happy. So I decided to say a good-bye to Shreya and wanted to go home.
“Nothing, Shreya I just remember an important class project of mine, I have to go now’’, I said to her.
“But, we decided to spent our whole day with each other, you can’t go dude”, she replied me back.
She noticed the sudden change in my behavior. She wanted to know about that, but she decided to stay silent and waited for me to tell the whole story about this rapid change of my behavior. Few minutes back I was a happy guy, with his love in his arms, now no more than a retarded drunk alcoholic. She wanted me to stay there and enjoy the day with her. But my decision had a clear-cut. I just wanted to go. After a long conversation Shreya allow me to go and we decided to make a next meeting. Although I wanted to to never see her again, but I just agreed with her for next meeting for the sake of our friendship. Shreya was upset too. She really wanted me to stay there with her. She really enjoyed my company. But I wanted to go. I can’t see her with somebody else. We decided to go metro station, Shreya will leave to her home from there and I will go to my home. We were walking to the empty floor of the mall. Our hands touch several times while walking. I wanted to stop the moment and wanted to hold her hands, but I couldn’t. I took my hands back and make sure that our hands will never touch again. But all of a sudden Shreya hold my hand. She shocked me. I wanted to hold her hands too, but I just simply took my hands back again. Shreya didn’t like that. She gave me a weird look.
“What? What’s wrong with you now?” she asked me.
“Nothing, we are just friends Shreya, this doesn’t suits us”, I replied her back.
“Okay. Then why does you kiss me, then why does you hug me?” she asked me.
She left me speechless. Girls are usually clever in these things. They know how to reveal the truth from a man.
“I don’t know, um sorry for that”, I said to her.
“No, it’s okay, I liked that too”, she replied me back.
“So, what does you want from me?” I asked her.
“You tell me, what’s wrong with you?” she asked me.
I wanted to lie. But I end up in bursting the truth to her.
“Shreya, look, I know it’s none of my matter. But you are here with me, spent your time with me, not with that Rahul, he is your past. I know you both are still good friends, but still you should live in present. Truly speaking I never like you with him. I don’t know why but I used to get jealous from him. That’s all. Now please don’t ask anything, like why I got jealous of him or something else. Now please walk faster, I have to go now”, I replied her back.
I wanted her to say that “no Raghav, he was my past, you are my present, I love you, Please be mine”. But unfortunately her answer was different.
“Okay, let’s move from here”, she said to me.
She didn’t stop me for even a once. I guess she also wanted to go. I know she want to go back with Rahul. This make me fell staggered. I lose my all hopes to get her back. I wanted to die. We were going back to our destinies. Shreya was 4-5 steps behind me. While walking, my phone rang. It was from Shreya. I cut the phone.
“What”, I looked back and asked her.
“Sorry. It was my mistake”, she replied me back.
“Okay”, I nodded to her.
Few minutes later I was about to reach the elevator gate. Shreya was still 5-6 steps behind me. My phone rang once again. It was Shreya again. I received her call.
“Is this is any game or again your mistake?” I asked her.
“No, not any game, neither my mistake, I call you because I have to ask you something important.” she replied me back.
“Yea. Say”, I told her.
“Do you like me?” she asked.
“No”, I replied without any hesitation.
“Do you like me?” she asked me once again.
“No, Shreya, can you please cut the phone now?” I said to her.
“Okay, I will cut the phone but please tell me, do you like me?” she asked me once again.
“No, do you like me?” I tried my luck.
“Yes”, she said.
I looked back to her. I couldn’t believe her reply. I wanted to hear her once again.
“Hm, what does you say?” I asked her.
“Yes I like you. Now can you please look forward, you are making me blush”, she said to me.
I wanted to see her face while she was blushing. She was looking very gorgeous. She wanted to make an eye contact, but her eyes weren’t allowing her. So I decided to respect the beauty of her eyes. I looked forward with my back to Shreya. I wasn’t on the Earth anymore. I was on clouds. I was happy. Shreya made me happy once again.
“Okay, so you really like me?” I asked her again to ensure the reality. I don’t want to end up the whole moment in any dream.
“Yes. Yes. Yes. I like you, you are my Super-boy. You are my Mr. Handsome”, Shreya told to me.

Now after hearing this, I couldn’t resist myself to look back at her. I cut the phone. I turned towards her. She was smiling. She made me smile too. I ran towards her. We look at each other for a while without any blinking. I wanted to hug her. I did. I opened my arms to hug her. She didn’t refuse. She hugged me too. We both were lost in each other. Suddenly, Shreya stopped and took her steps back.
“Wait, I like you, but you didn’t like me, we are friends, why are you hugging me?” she asked to me.
“No, Shreya I admit I don’t like you because I love you, you are my Dream girl”, I replied her back.
Shreya didn’t respond. She didn’t say a single word; in fact she initiates the hug once again. We both were in arms of each other. I was with the girl of my life. I wanted to tell her that you’re sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me; you know I'll be there for you
I started to hug her tight. She likes my initiative and starts hugging me even tighter. We hugged so tight, my all pain was lost. I was happy once again. While I was lost in her arms, my phone rang. I ignored that but Shreya took a notice of that.
“Your Phone”, she said to me.
“Leave it. I will check it later. Now I just want to be with you”, I replied her back.
“No, just receive the call, maybe it’s the one from you class project group member”, she told me and stated to grin.
So, I decided to stop the most wonderful moment of my life for few minutes. I receive the call, after few minutes, I hanged the phone.
“Whose call was this?” she asked to me.
“From my cellular company operator, I am not interested in their 3G unlimited data packs, I more interested in kissing you, can I kiss you?”, I asked to her.
Shreya smiled. She took a long breath. “Okay you can kiss me”, she said to me.
After her reply, I was blank. I didn’t know how to kiss. It was my first time to kiss a girl since my childhood. I took a long breath and decided to kiss her. I leaned towards her. She smiled. I took one of my hand on her waist. Her breath rate increases rapidly. I was moving closer to her. She was doing the same. Our lips were 2-3 inch apart. As soon as we were about to kiss, she closed her eyes. I saw her face, innocent beauty. I can die to see that innocent beauty once again. She made a kiss position from her lips. I was moving closer to her. I was able to sense her heartbeat. But my heart was a clever guy too. It wants a competition with her heart to see who can beat faster. I closed my eyes. I took my lips on her lips. It felt so smooth. I started to kiss her. She replied back too. We were kissing each other. I was kissing the girl of my life, my love. I was in love with that matchless feeling when you kiss your love for the first time. At first I didn’t know how to kiss, but I must tell you that kiss is a magic of human body. It happens automatically; you just have to take your lips on your partner’s lips and left all the other things. You will start kissing automatically. I too was kissing her passionately. It was so soft and firm. I took a minute to break the lip kiss and kissed her forehead. It felt so good. Kiss is one of the sweetest feeling a person can experience. I come near to her ear and whisper,” you are mine, I love you Shreya”, she smiled. She stated to hug me once again. I hugged are too. We again lost in each other arms. From that day Shreya and I are not together. We Are forever.

NOTE : Waiting for your valuable comments for the story. (: