My Angel

~An eerie of silence marked between us.She was looking at me skeptically.Despite the situation i was in,i couldn't help myself from admiring her beauty,she was flawless.

I had last seen her in this very place where we stood now.I had met her after five long years,five long years of my self destruction had finally ended,I thought.I couldn't believe what was happening.I had many questions running through my mind but what I needed was her presence and she was standing right in front of me.I was happy,very happy.
She looked straight into my eyes and said,"Why did you want to meet me Rakesh?,what are you expecting from me?".
I was shattered,each and every word that she spoke felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly,I couldn't open my mouth.She shrugged her hands as to asking me to say something but i was dumbstruck,what else could i say,the girl who used to tell me that i was so special to her was now getting annoyed to even look at me.

~I could sense the hatred she felt towards me,her eyes glaring.She asked me again,"what is your god damn problem?".I tried to say something but i had no control of my muscles , i just couldn't open my mouth.She started to leave.I saw her leave,she looked beautiful.My head started spinning,i could see everything that happened here five years ago.I could hear her voice and see her smile and then i saw myself.I was doing nothing but paying all my attention to her.I looked happy.I didn't want to lose that happiness.She was all I had.
"You don't talk to me!",I screamed.

"I don't know the reason,i don't know why you stopped talking to me,i don't know if it's me or if it's you who is responsible for this to happen to me.Honestly,i think you must have already sensed this.I have always loved you more than i hate myself,and trust me i hate myself to greater extremes,I have always had this feeling from the moment i first saw you.I am not gonna lie to you saying you are my love at first sight,no,you weren't,but I definitely had a special feeling about you,i fell in love with you later,and that was totally because of the kind of relationship we shared,because of the kind of person you were.I tried not to fall for you but you made me vulnerable.
I never tried to impress you,because you've always told me that you felt the so called boy friend girl friend thing is not for you.It didn't really bother me much,because I myself have always felt that the boy friend girl friend thing is an absolute lie,a boy flirts with a girl,flatters her and then she is his girl friend? where is the love in it?.
Whenever you feel sad,you talk to me,because it would de-stress you,and i would do the same.When you got a new phone,you think of surprising a person and the first person that came into your mind was me, when i think of you,i just cry,not knowing what the reason is.When i talk to you,all i want is more and more talk between us,when i saw you,walked with you for the first time in this very place five years ago,all i could see was you you and you and nothing else,when you said that you came online to talk to me and that the other guys were just pissing you off i felt ecstatic,that you were mine.Good or bad,the first person i want to share it with is you.I don't know what goes through that mind of yours,you ignore me and then start talking to me after a long time,this has happened frequently and I never asked you why,because you were back and that was all i wanted.
All those nights i just sat in front of your house so happily while my friends were scowling at me asking what was making me so happy just staring at your house.I was happy that you're presence was near to me.No matter what the situation was,you're text lightens me up.Out of all these reasons given,if you find a single reason which even implicitly shows signs of trying to impress you,then mine is not love.
Now you understand why i didn't bother? I never wanted you to be my girl friend,we never needed to express anything,because they are only expressed where there's no love,at least that was what i thought,but i was wrong.What we had was precious but i still should have expressed my feelings to you.One thing i hadn't realized is that time changes people.It's all gone now,you are not the same with me anymore.It looks like I've been in an illusion that i was trying to fix things between us but i was actually moving away from you.In hope that it is never too late,I love you.
And if you still demand a reason or a point to prove that my feeling for you is true love,
In the last 5 years I've known you,I saw you only once and you haven't been talking to me for 2 and a half years now.I might be sounding absurd but without seeing a person and not talking to them but still loving them,is literally the definition of true love in my perspective.
Meet me after a lifetime,when someone asks me who my girl friend is, My answer would always be the same.I would say I don't have a girl friend but i have a soul mate,an angel.And that angel,my love,will always be you."

I hadn't noticed,She was crying,"Bye Rakesh",she said and left.