"I am your Biz skills lead. Today we will have a short introduction ...".
I aimlessly looked at her, as she carefully placed behind her ears the funk which was obstructing her view of us. She wore a full sleeve chudidar, with the sleeves rolled up a bit, which showed her watch on her left hand. Braided hair, framed glasses, big expressive eyes, and her fingers interlocked were doors to a world, completely unknown to me.
I was wearing a tie, with a pen in my hand, with mixed thoughts in my mind. I am not a social freak. I just feel it takes some time to know somebody, and my relations are long term. Unfortunately for me, the others were intense socializers.
These sessions were awesome just because I did not like the techy sessions a lot. The biz skills sessions, though they taught us business ethics, soft skills and team work, they were full of fun.
She split the 30 of us into 5 groups, and gave a topic to each of them. We were asked to note points on the given topic ....
I looked at the air conditioner vent above me, and then at the walls, and then at my team mates, who were busy talking to each other, noting down points in their notepads.
And then I looked at her.
She slowly waved at me to come to her. I stood up, and came to her desk.
"So, Santosh, whats up?", she said, and smiled.
"Nothing much ... ", I said, and tried to fake a smile.
"Do you have any issues? Do tell me."
"Its just that I am unable to catch up with the tech sessions. They seem difficult to me."
"Is anyone helping you on that?"
"No."
"What about your teammates?"
"They are busy", I said, and she understood it.
"Okay, have you mentioned this to your tech lead?"
"No. I am not sure whom to talk to. I just feel like a fish out of water here ... ", I said, as she saw in me an alone, frustrated person.
"I understand. You see, most of us feel like that initially. I will try talking to your lead. May be she might help you on this. Just be happy Santosh. Try to explore people, places, and just say whatever you have in your mind. This way you will feel lighter, and you can talk to me anytime. No problem, " and then she smiled at me. That expression she made of a euphoric smile, a smile that erases all numbness and longings in life, was no less than the greatest blessing ...
Did I fall ? Was I floating ? Was I smiling ? I didn't know ...
After a long time in my life, I saw a person ready to listen to me, and smile heartily at me.
I felt happy that someone was concerned about me.
All I knew was that I did not know how I came back to my seat and sat, but when I did, I saw her smiling at me. Her big expressive eyes, they said a lot ...
Days went by, and I found her more special each following day. On some days when we did not have her session, I used to feel sad, and frustrated. Each day I longed for her biz skills sessions. Each day I studied the topics and business ethics and tried to share points with her the next day ...
I wanted her to be happy. I wanted to tell her how special she was to me. I had only her in my mind every coming day.
I felt I should muster up the courage to tell her how much I liked her, and was interested in knowing her.
...
Our training was at its completion stage. I was waiting for her to come to the training room. She entered in one of her best attires, sober, yet beautiful. Her glasses seemed to add a sense of knowledge to her. She was the angel in my world. She was the Goddess of my life, and she was taking the final business skills session for our team, and it was the same day I was going to tell her my feelings for her. I had rehearsed it well the night before. I just decided to go to her, and tell her what I had in my mind.
After the session was over, we were still sitting, and laughing out loud at a joke that she had just cracked.
"I would like to tell you all, that I am going to get married this month end.", she smiled.
Everyone applauded and congratulated her, while I was thinking whether it would be okay if I still had my plan intact.
The session was over, and as others dispersed, I came up to her, and said,"So, you're getting married. Nice !", she half-heartedly smiled.
"You should definitely come to my marriage reception Santosh," she said.
"Sure. I will."
...
It was the day of her marriage reception. I wore the best of my dresses, and reached on time. It was raining outside, and I was happy that my tears would be hidden. I took the stairs, and entered the reception hall, as the welcomers sprinkled scent on me, and gave me a bag of coconut and betel leaves. On the bag, her name along with her husband's name was written.
I looked at it for some time, took a seat at the end of the hall, and waited for her.
After a few minutes, she entered the hall. Curly hair, those same, big expressive eyes, with lots of expectations for the life ahead, pink saree, sparkling bangles on her hands decorated with mehendi.
She was the angel in my world. She was the Goddess of my life, and she was standing on the stage, going to start a new life.
I felt happy for her. In fact, every girl wants a person who can take care of her, who makes her feel special, who loves her more than anything in this world.
After a while, I went to the stage to congratulate both of them. I gave her selected gifts, and wished both of them a happy married life.
As I forced myself to descend the stairs, I felt an excruciating urge to run to her, and just tell her something or just talk to her.
All my thoughts and expressions muted as I went outside in the rain. My heart felt heavy, and my throat pained. I saw her as I closed my eyes hard, and blessed her with all my heart and the goodness of my life.
...
Years have passed. I still remember her as the same chirpy, fun-loving innocent girl, who used to crack jokes, and who had changed my life forever. I hope she is happy.
Sometimes you feel too alone. Your life seems like a void, and you feel that there is no one to listen to you, no one to hold your hand and tell you how much they love you, how much they need you in their life.
And then, someone out of the blue comes into your life, erases all the loneliness in your life, and fills your void with love and bliss. Then life seems like a celebration. I thank her for being one of the few people in my life who have added a story to the book of my life and whom I respect a lot.
We are connected through the social medium, but we don't talk much. She is busy exploring her life, while I am living mine, ready to fall for someone again, and trek the heights of life with that someone very special.
