I have a confession to make. I’m an eavesdropper! I eavesdropped on a conversation between a bunch of girls in a coffee shop. But in my defense, the conversation was about a subject close to my heart – what kind of a man would you fall in love with? And it was all I could do to not butt in to their conversation and give my two bits. Since I couldn't offer it to them, I offer it to the world at large.
All single girls have a list with boxes that a man needs to tick in order for them to fall for this guy. And the list usually goes like this, though not always in this order :
~The guy must be an investment banker or similar.
~The guy must be well off.
~The guy must be good looking.
~The guy must have a great sense of humor.
~The guy must be sensitive and love me to death.
~The guy must love kids, dogs, travel, shopping, going out.
~The guy must have his own house, big car.
Now, I don’t have any problem with this list or finding a man who ticks the boxes. I had this list too when I was little. But the thing to think about is that when we meet a nice guy, who is single, we instantly start checking the boxes in our minds, and god forbid, if he doesn't fit the bill completely, he has lost all chances. But is the list stopping us from exploring the idea of a long term relationship with a great guy just because he is not a banker, or his car is five years old (I know a guy who is loaded but very sentimental about his little 10 year old car. It’s his quirk), or that he didn't laugh at our jokes? Is our list standing in the way of our potential relationship? Could it be that we need to forget the list for a few minutes because maybe, there is love beyond it?
Because, in spite of every girl’s list, I know women who took the chance and married men who were younger, previously married, were not investment bankers but cared a lot and went on to do really well and turned out to be good solid men. And these women are happy in their marriages which is the most important thing in a relationship.
It’s great to have a minimum standard, but its great fun to meet a guy and then create a list to fit him, just because you allowed yourself to fall in love without tying yourself up in preconceived notions. My mom did that and she swear by the lack of a list.
