I meant to start off with something else but for the past few weeks I've been so consumed by the idea of chance romances that I can't get around to writing about anything else.. there is something so exhilaratingly awesome in just looking at a face that captivates your imagination and being able to fill in the details, just as you wish, that it feels beyond words... a sense of unbounded promise... and even though you know that its all just a mirage and that things will never be that way, you cant help but allow yourself this one moment of... life. But for the great rush that this moment gives it throws into stark contrast the rest of our existence, an existence of trivial preoccupations, even obsessions..
Recently i saw such a face, it wasn't a face of extreme beauty but it was a face that lent itself to my imagination so completely that I could fill in the rest just as I wanted.. just as I've always dreamt. And in that one moment of artistic excellence I felt drawn to that person like I've never been before, to anyone. I wanted to keep that smile there forever.. the smile that “I” had elicited.. the greatest achievement of my life. And then the crushing reality struck - this moment will never be bettered !! And in that moment I was doomed.. condemned to harbour that utopian image and resist the urge to press on.. wishing that we never meet again, so that image can stay in my head forever.. unspoilt. I can't ever really want to talk to you.. it'd only make me realise you aren't what you're supposed to be.
So what am I supposed to do?? Live my life buried forever in that one moment or should I dare to hope..??? There is a sense of uplifting pain in being like this.. we're on a different plane right now, free of human weaknesses, above worldly trivia.. getting together will only suffice to make us earthly- hollow, shallow.. I want to live like this forever, just knowing you exist, because it allows me to maintain the existence of a world of everlasting joy..
And though everyone around seems to doubt the sincerity of such a thought in an "emotionless" person like me, it gives me hope.. I feel if this is possible then so is the unthinkable.. maybe its meant to be.. maybe we're meant to be..
