Lately, I have been doing everything I can to keep you out of my mind. I threw myself in to work. Avoided every place that would bring back any memory of you - our song, those coffee shops, that movie theatre, your favorite restaurant and even that lane we walked down hand in hand a thousand times. But you always find a way to creep back in to my head.
As I stepped out of the building after a long day at work, the cool breeze hit my face. I decided to walk. It started to drizzle. I kept walking. It started to pour. I was drenched. I still kept walking. I saw a young couple running hand in hand towards a cafe for shelter from the rain. The boy had a protective arm around the girl while they ran in synch amidst giggles. It reminded me of us. He reminded me of you. You always put me before yourself.
How did we get here? How did I let you go? How did I ever think you weren't the one? How could I leave you when I promised to spend the rest of my life with you? How could I hurt you?
As my heart filled with regret over all these thoughts, tears rushed down my eyes. I knew I would never be able to forgive myself. You were my shot at happiness. You would always be the one that got away.
You were the first boy I loved. You were also the first man I loved.Nobody can love you the way I do, but I made a mistake. A huge mistake. Maybe someday, you would have it in you to give me a second chance. Maybe. Someday