So you wanna piss off someone? Maybe your friend, your girlfriend or your housemaid? Here's the recipe to bullying
1. BULLIES BELIEVE IN VENTING BY (DE)PRESSING THE CAPS BUTTON:
So ladies and gentleman, that’s the first thing to begin with. The caps button plays a crucial role to begin bullying. However, you need to understand difference between bullying and spamming.
SPAMMERS: BUY DR. KHATRA’S HAIR LOSS OIL, ANTI-DANDRUFF SHAMPOO, TOILET PAPER… (Blocked for spamming)
BULLIES: IDIOT, YOU NEED TO BUY HAIR LOSS OIL, YOU BALD MORON! (Congratulations! You have been selected as the Member of Parliament)
2. Make personal attacks:
That's where the 'real' writer wins. Those who are good at metaphors, imageries have a clear edge here. Compare your victim with a dog/camel/giraffe/mongoose. Vocabulary and general knowledge can be a critical factor here.
3. Be in your comfort zone:
This is a tricky little step. If you're good at soccer and your victim is talking about the financial stability in Venezuela, you'll clearly lose out the battle. But you know what to do... IRRELEVANCE is the grand-daddy of trolling. Make comments like "Burn in hell you bugger, sixth cousin of an orangutan!" And you have conquered your victim.
4. Troller can be a cute little person as well:
Trollers are often assumed to be horrendous creatures. Nope, not always. In fact the cute trollers are perhaps the most dangerous ones, because when they attack you, you're have no idea how to hit back or resist their booing.
They may be masters in using smileys with posts like
1. *is playing with my kitten huggles* >.>
2. *is picking my nose.* O.O
The advantage of being a cute bully is that no one will doubt your intentions till you demolish your victim.
Now enjoy guys!
Disclaimer: This work of writing is purely meant for celebrating stupidity. The author will be held responsible for all the kind of sh!t you do after reading this. Thank you!
