“You are having Fast tomorrow. Wake up early”, a sudden flying instruction by a mother-in-law to a newly wedded woman, passing by the living room. Having heard a lot of illogical and superstitious beliefs in a short span of 20 days after wedding, instead of asking for reason and logic, she chuckles at it and wonders, if it’s full day fast then why not sleep in most of the day time, saving energy and avoiding hunger & cravings.
India has come a long way since independence and the establishment of the Indian Constitution gives seven fundamental rights - Right to equality, right to freedom, right against exploitation, right to freedom of religion, cultural and educational rights, right to property and right to constitutional remedies. Without directly mentioning which of these rights, the Indian ‘married’ women are getting deprived of, this article is intended to only raise a thought on how various orthodox traditions are affecting lives of women; and women, being an epitome of sacrifice and tolerance, are following them. This is observable, not only in the socially backward classes, but also in the rich and highly educated families. Such is the irony of Indian Society.
For instance, in my friend’s wedding, she wore a nose ring (a mandate in Hindu tradition), clasped tightly on the nose because of absence of nose-piercing. She endured it all the 4-5 hours, from parlour visit till the end of wedding reception. Just then she thought it’s over, she was given a pair of ear-rings which were too thick to fit in her ear puncture. She was expected to wear only those for the wedding rituals so she forced them in, considering it would take only few hours. However it resulted into a wound formation till she reached the, now-husband’s home. With all the ‘munh-dikhai’ traditions to be following next, “Thoda aur seh le”(Endure a little more), she was again and again asked to wear different ear-rings. This gave the wound no time to heal and the condition deteriorated.
Similarly there is a custom that married women must wear bichhiya(toe-rings) at all times. A friend who is a mountaineer, skier, runner and paraglider, found it difficult to wear those in ski boots and running shoes because they would pierce into the skin. So did the payal (anklets) which are mandatory.
It is considered inauspicious if a married woman is seen by anyone without sindoor (vermillion), bangles, toe-rings, anklets, bindi (colored dot on forehead) or mangalsootra (neck jewellery). Working women, who are always on their toes, juggling between job and family, find it difficult to maintain a checklist of all the items.
Here’s an advice, if you are getting married in an Indian family, ensure that you:
1. Buy a whiteboard and marker
2. Draw the above list
3. Go to your to-be-in-laws home and ask for your room-to-be
4. Hang it on the wall right in front of your bed.
Thus, you will be able to ensure that there is no day when you leave your bed without these things on!
So much for a citizen of growing, developing and free nation.
