'I'm scared of two people on earth. The doctor and the lawyer. Both keep practicing while people keep dying,' a friend remarked on FB the other day.
As an afterthought,he added, 'and there's one more. The Malayalee. We all must pray that God protects us from all these three categories in the coming year.'
But why the poor mallu?',I asked.
He didn't reply.
How can one not help but like a Mallu. Beats me. So what if he has really oily hair or the bushiest moustache you've ever seen?
He's actually a cute fella. An absolutely hardworking fellow,that is, anywhere on earth, except in Kerala. For there he's so busy with his mundu,he has no time for anything else.
A Kerala mallu has obsessions.One is toddy,second movies. The third one is his mundu.
He keeps fidgeting with this white piece of cloth the entire day. It serves various purposes. He can use a small bit of it to clean his ears. Or fan himself in extreme humid weather. Mosquitoes flee when he swishes the mundu around while walking.
He hates wearing pants. That doesn't let the air in.
He keeps it flowing when someone important is around. The minute they scoot,he's at it again.
Bending down,he lifts up the ends gingerly,folds it neatly around his waist.
If he's climbing a tall,coconut tree,the mundu rises up shamelessly.
'Plis don't look up', he commands as he vanishes up the tree.
Then he throws down the coconuts and speeds off on his bicycle,forgetting to bring down his beloved mundu.
He sees a figure of a woman miles away. He slows down. He dismounts,combs his hair. Lungi unfolded now,reaching elegantly down to his feet. He greets her with the the most dashing smile,as he takes a quick look at her. Long hair left loose,saree clad. All mallu women look the same. She smiles coyly. He falls for her. He makes small talk,she giggles some more. They waltz around trees,humming a song,they strangely know very well. But they'd just met.
Suddenly three rogues pounce on him. Their aim- his lady love. He pitches up his mundu as quick as a flash. Dishum dishum. He punches them back. The girl stares open mouthed. If a villain inches near her, she'd pick up a coconut and wham! Down he'd go.
A police van appears. The uniformed (thankfully) men whisk away the trio.
The mallu lets down his mundu. She her hair.
They're both back in each others arms.
The End.
That's a typical malayalam movie. I wonder why I watch.
Its only because of this guy in the mundu.
Prithviraj.
