Sitting here, wondering what's up with me
Am confused why am not filled with glee,
For I have what I always wanted
To work hard and be loved and enchanted.
Lately I have been confused about what I desire,
It seems my life is played on a musical lyre.
Earlier I didn't have half as much,
Yet I knew what to do with life as such.
Being in a relation puts a bubble around me,
Of being self-satisfied and the resulting incompetency.
For am tired of having to take care for her,
And untangle and yield to the resulting slur.
I dont wanna be that guy who doesnt take chances,
Who worries everyday about life's nuances.
I want to be free again and grind my ass out,
Forgetting pain in my sweaty rout.
I dont want a care in the world again,
No responsibility except personal gain.
Cause am not old enough to handle those,
These times are supposed to be lived on toes.
And yet how can I distance myself from her again,
And make those tears on her face rain.
She who has always been lovingly caring,
Who in her own life is daring.
I wish I was like her to some extent,
To do something rash and yet not be tensed.
But I feel I have to be mature for her
When my views themselves are a blur.
I can ask for a break from "us",
A relation which is hovering under a nimbus.
With no vim and vigour left in it
Its like that life's meaningless chit.
I dont know how to get out of this,
I wanna be free like I was and yet not ruin her bliss.
I want to live a reckless life and make my own mistakes,
And meet new people for all it takes.
That would make me a jackass I know that,
But aint I choosing a life to be specifically that?
So maybe start by being a big one and ditch us,
God help me while I make all of this rush.
