Life

I had been miserable for so long, i did not remember how it was to be happy.Then i realised a few things.

I seeked happiness in food,sleep and getting high. I just realised it. I also realised that work or rather karma is the truest source of happiness. If you are not satisfied with the amount of effort you have put into something, you cannot truly experience the joy of that moment. I spent days high on drugs, eating my favourite food, watching my favourite movie genres, hanging out with my friends, and occasionally being with beautiful women. Of course it isn't days, it's years, i did not realise how time flew by i was so engrossed. And also I was continuously dejectedly trapped-in-a-well miserable.

Except maybe when i was with those women "working". No they were not "working ladies". This is already getting too cheap..

And i discovered for myself that happiness is fleeting, That you cannot be always happy, no matter what you achieve or where you reach. So if you ever do something, accomplish any objective, personal or professional, with happiness as the end point, thinking you will be happy after you get there, you are in for some deep disappointment.

Dont count on being happy, count on only one thing, and that is that happiness does not matter. The journey of life is a maze through the lanes and streets of happiness and despair, you just choose which lane to walk through, but understand this, at some point you will always have to change lanes.

Learn tact, learn that life is a bit more complicated than what they show in movies. You have no background score to begin with, which i feel is my life's greatest folly, but that is the same for everyone else too. Thats how life is. Unfair, but its unfair to everybody, which sort of makes it fair for everyone.

Which brings us to...if life isn't fair/unfair....is the universe fair or not?

The universe would have been unfair if it deprived anyone of what they deserve.

Well news flash. You dont deserve anything.

You dont own anything. The universe does not owe you anything. You are but an insignificant blip in the vastness of the whole of creation. The pic attached to this article is taken from pluto i guess. .The dot marked on it is earth. You are insignificant, no more crucial to the universe than a crawling insect is to the floor. Realise this.

Then realise how much the person you love the most is important to you. Weigh that person, that another insignificant blip, against the rest of the universe. Realise how different your life would be without them. Realise that size is always relative. Smile.

Also, and i must credit Rahul Gandhi for this, "Misery is a state of mind"..well actually he said poverty, but states of mind none the less is the crux here. I felt after years of being miserable about myself, my looks and my numerous varied social handicaps, i was the only one who thought that much about those things. I had been so "enjoying" being miserable, i failed to see i was the one who was most responsible for it. No one criticised me as much as i did. No one else took as much time to forgive me when i disappointed at something.

Understand yourself. Understand that the only one who'll ever understand you is you. Try understanding that person who looks back at you in the mirror. Dont have to sympathise or agonise or traumatise the guy, just understand him. Understand his weaknesses, understand his flaws, and understand where and why he is greedy and unfair. Once you have locked on and seperated these things, you'll begin to seeing how perfect he is. No need to change him, just try having a bit more of an honest relationship. You'll after all be going to all places together.