Dear Raunak,

Wish words would flow..
as I share this with you.
My tears do..!

You suddenly left me one fine day years ago and I still find it so tough to cope.
I watched as they laid you down. You looked just as you were, when we first met. The wisps of curly hair blown by the wind, cute stubble precariously perched on your chin. And you seemed so peaceful.

I broke down when they covered you with earth, still dazed, eyes glazed. It took months for it to soak in..that you were finally gone.
I moved about like a zombie. With family and friends rallying around, I slowly found my footing, but still dithered at times. I missed you so very much. Your tight hugs, caresses, kisses..

I resumed work, but sat lifeless at my desk all day long. Nothing to look forward to in the evenings.
True colors of men around me surfaced when they realized I was now single. Lecherous looks, sexist comments, playful half smiles plagued me all day.
Sometimes they tried to touch me on purpose at the keyboard.
The head honcho even proposed to me, can you believe?

People have begun to avoid me. My friends avoid inviting me to parties, thinking I'm inauspicious for their family.
Folk stare at me in disgust if I venture out well dressed and made up.

Raunak, I miss you so! Wish you never had left.
I always wanted to go first. But you beat me to it, like a fast runner.
That you always were.

Some nights, I want it. Badly. You know what.
I dream of you..but then cry out in frustration.
It..it's so awful..please come back...

Our daughter's now grown. She resembles you lots.
Some well meaning folk asked me to remarry.
How can I?
Even if I..what if he turns out to be a good for nothing chap?
Suppose he misbehaves with our daughter?

Days are long..
Nights are even more.
I miss you.. darling..
I miss you so!

Yours forever
in life and in death,
Priya

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