So dead tired of waiting for him to say a yes.
And it was always a No. I wonder when did I become so idiotic that I believed him and his words so easily. How did I believe when he said he loves me? How did I believe him when he said that it’s my duty to meet him and love him? How did I believe when he said he doesn’t want to leave me? How did I?
All these now broke my heart. I often stared out the window and begged the stars to guide him to me.
But he was not the kind of guy that ever looked up at the sky.
Such a fool I am. I even asked god to take all my happiness and grant me only one blessing to be with him.
I surrendered a part of my own self to him. Started dreaming about my future with him. Changed my vision ,gave up on what I always wanted to be, made hell lot of concessions and compromises ,gave up on my ego n self-respect jus for him. I devoted chunk of my life and my thoughts for him.
Now when I think of all this it feels like the whole world is standing out there laughing at me. Who the hell told everything is fair in love? Its all bullshit. I am a human being I want my love to be reciprocated.
At this point I don’t know where I stand with him? What I am to him? What I mean to him? Is there actually any meaning of being in a state like this?
But he will never ever understand for he isn’t that kind of a person at all. I don’t blame him I blame my own self for it was me who destroyed my own life with unconditional love for a careless person. All I learnt is to never ever believe.
Letting a person you love go is the most difficult decision you can make in your life. The worst part is that the longer you are apart, the more you come to realize how difficult it is – the more you realize how much you actually love that person.
Now at this point of my time when I stand alone with all my love for him I jus hope that this love will help me keep going n not to give up on myself. I just wanna live in a belief that yes one day I will find love again hopefully and will be able to love my own self and the world around me because There is no worse way to live life than to live it while giving up on the prospect of love. Love is the only purpose worth living for. Hope I will meet it again till then all I need is to move on because trying to forget him or hate him would be my second foolish act (first one was to love him ofcourse).
