How can I share a part of my earnings with someone until I feel connected with them?
How will it make a difference in my life to spend time with people in need of love & affection?
How should I break the barrier from being an observer to a witness of experiencing selfless love?
Will it be worth if I visit around to some orphanage/old age home and approach the folks to allow me spend some time with the needy?
Such questions would always revoke the flame inside me to volunteer into social work until I decided to take my call finally and accompany folks of Intelligent Freak Events in their venture of “Helping Hand” for conducting fun activities and more importantly, spending some quality time at Kilkari – rainbow shelter home for girls.
By the time I reached Kilkari, drawing and dance activities had already begun. In my first glimpse, I could see 30-40 girls sitting on the ground busy exploring their art skills. Being alien to the place, I felt numb to react. “These girls don’t live with family but with other fellow folks because their parents can’t afford their expenditure”, the thought brought emotional trauma in my head. I sat beside one of the volunteers for a while to talk and share my restlessness. She helped me to get comfortable with the place until I decided to roam around and try getting along with surroundings. The girls were from age group of 8 to 14-15 years. I tried helping few in drawing but since I’m naive in such artistic works, I could do nothing but witness their skills. I was amazed to realize few real talented girls who demonstrated their talent with some beautiful pictures.
Though I assume myself extrovert to interact with fellow folks but sometimes I find the little girl inside me really shy and introvert to open up. This was one of such situations. “I don’t know them neither do they know me. Then how can I initiate talking to them and get involved. Also, how do I reassure myself if they will like my involvement?” I kept mumbling with this thought for quite long. Listening to music buzzing in the next room, I got there to see how amazingly the little girls were enjoying dancing. I tried getting involved reluctantly but I realized it’s not me who needed to put efforts to grab love but it’s the girls who will come forward like angels to bestow love upon me. Few of the girls were really interactive. They themselves got me into dancing with them. Few wanted someone to let them get into comfort zone so I did try dancing hands in hands with them. In a while, I found myself overcoming the shyness & feeling connected with the aura of belongingness.
While all were going downstairs to enjoy guitar music, there were few girls who didn't want to go. They wanted loneliness. This was a scary feeling to realize how even small children can deny enjoying. A girl was in real bad mood and was continuously denying my efforts to accompany others downstairs. I tried asking if she was okay. She had run away from the shelter home twice and wanted to stay with family so as to take care of her younger brother but at home, her parents couldn't afford to take care of her and instead were trying to sell her off. I’m not sure of the percentage of truth in it but she desperately wanted to stay alone. Later it was found that she again tried running from the chaos of people around but was caught by shelter home people. I felt helpless to react. I tried embracing her but she seemed irresistible.
Then there was another girl downstairs who held my hand as if she knew me from years. She was so affectionate that I couldn't deny being around her. While other girls were busy grabbing eating stuff, she didn't want to leave my hand for some food. She was a really good dancer and wanted to become actress in future. I don’t remember any of my close fellows showing such kind of selfless affection until they were told explicitly but this girl who didn't know me an hour ago touched me.
Further, while we were wrapping up to leave, I sat on the floor for a while to take rest. Out of nowhere, 2-3 small girls of age like 6-7 years surrounded me. They themselves took their place in my lap. That was one of the best feelings ever of being wanted. I gave sheets to them to write their names on it. Anjali, one of the girls, asked me to write my name beside her. Then she said, “Didi, see our names are together now.” She asked if she can keep my pen. I didn't deny and she started kissing me telling how much she liked me.
The journey started with bits of awkwardness but at the end, I found myself being one of the folks waving goodbye to them halfheartedly. Indeed love doesn't need a call but we need to take self-call to rejuvenate our souls with belongingness.
Since this was my first visit to such place, I couldn't contribute financially out of generosity but I bet I tried my best to fit into the deal of “Giving & Taking Unconditional Love”.
Just a few hours spent at Kilkari have overflowed the stock of emotions and thoughts into my head and I can’t express my thankfulness to IFE for helping me avail one such opportunity. I hope to continue my endeavor in future.
I read it somewhere and found it really rational to share,
“When we are hungry, we cry out for food but when we are emotionally weak and need someone to hug, why don’t we ask specifically for love because there might be millions of reciprocates in the similar dilemma.”
