Just Hold On You Neva.. Know..

Delightful Breeze
Semester 1 exam were about to end, only the last exam EVS and the preparation leave of 2days was allocated. December 2012 on Chat with Simran, after a hell long time, haven’t seen her or interacted for quite a while 2 month or so. Classes were over ,I couldn’t see her anymore it was hurting me and missing her so much ,made me go online on Facebook ,I found her online ,the bell started ringing in my mind I clicked on her .
Utkarsh: hey hi
Simran: hi!!!! How’s u??
Utkarsh: hmm good but not so fine.
Simran: hmm long time Na haven’t seen you for a while and exam sucks .
Utkarsh: how were you semester exam??
Simran: I don’t know I have lost hope.
Utkarsh: ha-ha all scholar lost hope of getting pointer 10 right.
Simran: hahaha may be your right: P.
Utkarsh: haha 2mrw 21st December 2012 want it to be the last day.
Utkarsh: I feel my Mechanics didn’t go well so I want the world to end sab Khatam ho jaaye
Simran: that lame but I will miss you if the world ends.
Utkarsh: so what would u do if world end tomorrow?
Simran: get a boyfriend: P.
Utkarsh: ha-ha ek din mei you will find a bf?
Simran: Ya baht saare hai line lagi hai :P.
Utkarsh: haha ohkk.
Simran: Anyways Utkarsh no matter what u will always remain in me... like a soft corner.
Utkarsh: hm really??
Simran: yeah ,Chal aaj hum dono date pe jaate hai!!
Utkarsh: are u kidding well don’t forget still a paper is remaining although EVS my parent don’t allow me to leave the room what they will allow me to gone outside.
Simran: Die Utkarsh.
Utkarsh: I know it not the last day of Earth so chill next time.
Simran: ya mee too
Utkarsh: So how’s going any boyfriend any crush??
Simran: ha-ha no not yet no crush, and what about you??Girlfriend found someone I know you must be having a crush??
Utkarsh : hmm no but there a girl which is just stuck in my head like every day every single moment I just think of her and that something crazy .
Simran: whose she ?
Utkarsh: Well no sorry I can’t tell you
Simran: you don’t trust me right Na.
Utkarsh: it not that but sorry I can’t tell you that
Simran: Please Utkarsh tell me I won’t tell anyone please tell me I am getting jealous of her whoever it is.
Utkarsh: I do Trust you, but sorry can’t tell you Simi.
Simran: uhh GETLOST, Utkarsh I won’t talk to you bye Moron you don’t trust me.
Hmm well she went offline.
I knew she was a bit anger on me after all she was one of my closest friend and I knew she has the curiosity to know who was that girl … But the fact was she was the Girl which had made me mad all day long I used to just think of her and felt not having her presence and was missing her to the core I felt good after the chat .it was close I was going tell her what she meant to me ,but I didn’t want to tell her that moment , I went to my bed with the EVS Techmax no mood to read what was printed I started reading then to with her thought and then, flashback started unrolling in my head.
My Name – Utkarsh, A shy silent and a decent guy with good physique and a blessed height of 6ft. I was very friendly with people I like and were my friend, and didn’t gave care to give a shit or even a piece of mind to people whose I hated and didn’t like but used to talk nicely to them that was a way of treating the people who you hate make them feel they are great .
I used to be good with people and I hated a bit more than normal. Although I had the power and the muscles to hit or slam a people but actually didn’t not because anger was something which didn’t last too long.
I was a shy guy and felt quite awkward to talk to girl well, I used to walk head down straight and fast march whenever found in awkward or in a limelight state where everyone was looking at me. I didn’t it was with group of my friend around people who didn’t knew me said that I had lot of attitude within myself and didn’t like, when I came to know my image through some of my friend I was like Attitude I was like it not the my attitude it was me I was like that and it was my nature and it was me.
But bit crazy ,weird and open to the with people which was the real Idiot inside or Rascal Inside used to ON with people which were my close friend ,cousin and sibling who knew me the kind of rascal behind the innocent face .
This was how it all began, it was Standard 10th Greenfield high school it was a boys school and well highly popular for sports and mischievous boys and that was the reason I found awkward to talk to girl.
What do you mean by CRUSH???
That time in school, thing like Boyfriend and Girlfriend were getting popular well for age 15, It was something new terminology and while in this surrounding of our school .The was this School which generated heat in our school, St. Mary Girls High school,
Which had being just separated by a 10 feet wall in between the ground and well thing like this guy from Greenfield with a girl of St. Mary, were bursting out and the showoff guy would proudly come out and say well I got I girlfriend when it was quite new to me and I was like curious to know about this new arrival but I didn’t knew any of the girl and never had a real crush on any girl till now but because of exposure to Bollywood movie and Serial and cartoon series and English pop music and all those things .
Which had made me believe there is One Girl in every boy’s life which make you fall in love.
LOVE -a word with is just a word no one knew the meaning of it, we had only example of it Family member love the love between family and friend basically it was a word with no
explanation, a word on which songs movies and books were written, it had no definition but it can only be felt they all said that. And I wanted to know how it felt well age 15 could I discover it I doubted myself.
I had this curiosity and Curiosity is the Best Teacher they said.
Day were passing on and school were the golden era which of a person life which was realized after the person comes out of it and start missing it, the punishment, the grades, the failure, the fun and masti with friend and the epic moment of laughter in standard 10 was epic and school and some new thing like internet and website for games and social networking.
ORKUT the website with lots of installed stuff for youngster well I signed up for Orkut, and well I was knowing the phishing technique of hacking due to my curiosity, and I had hacked few account via phishing and sort of thing or rumor that were true spread through the school well hopefully not much people were not on Orkut, so it wasn’t that bothering after few day passing one by one,
My friend Tushar a skinny short height moody character and unpredictable guy introduced to a girl named “Simran” on Orkut ,She was from St. Mary her Orkut account was full of Attitude stuff and quite Colorful from all the testimonial and scrap and photos of Bollywood Shahid Kapoor , Ian Somerhalder, Robert Pattinson Actress , and all cool quotes , I had never seen her Face to Face , but I sent her a friend request and within a few second it got accepted as she was online well I was on Orkut was going chat with a girl well-being shy guy well that shyness goes off on chat most of the people ka do well the name was Simran designed beautifully and my
name Revolution Man –Utkarsh . I scraped her on Orkut which was a the message term for sending message on Orkut scrap meant like something useless then to I Scraped her Hi
Well then thing started going good we started talking regularly and virtually daily after 10pm.
Well I used to eagerly wait and talk to her I never seen her nor she had .we were in same classes but different branches the faculty and professor test paper were same was same so we had topic to talk about and our friendship grew.
One day she asked me I have heard you’re a hacker, well I said not really so can u also unhack my old Orkut account .I said okay I will try it difficult to unhack but give me your Email id and password of old account well she gave me email id and said password I will text you give me your cellphone number I was uhh okay here you go I gave her my no. and she gave me a missed and text me
Hey hi Utkarsh u der??-it Simran
I replied
Ya hi give me your password
She replied well I forgot I guess
It was I guess iloveshahidkapoor or something
Anyways let’s chat here!!!!
Well I was like annoyed it was the first time I was SMS chatting with anyone it was a new thing for me I checked my balance it was Rs.160 which was constant for a long time .. I started texting her.
It had become a routine for us both we used to text each other and started talking share talk about the day event in school and well we had never seen each other but were growing good and close friend .
I too have a Crush
After a few days at school it was P.T period - the play time and Football was the game which our school was crazy for the game and every student of the class used to run behind two football which was provided whole.
At the time things were crazy that and the some of the crazy guys used to kick the Ball in the girl school and then the PT sir used to send few boys to get that ball in the Girls school well it was quite crazy and well every guy wanted to visit that girls school in the school hour . And it happened so I it was the PT period one guy kick I was found to be next to Pt sir and
Sir: Hey you come here?
Utkarsh: Yes Sir
Sir: Go and Get that Football
Tarun: Sir Can I Also sir
Well sir was very good and he also let Tarun go with me
Tarun was my the first guy who actually had a physical fight with and was a my worst enemy at school at grade 8th he had the same physique as me, he was had spectacles which he had just got and used to look more decent but was a prick and I knew the real rascal in me and he knew me how I was, but as time passed unknowly we become the best friend how it happened none of us knew but we did become friend
Sometime your Best friend can become your worst enemy
But in my case my worst enemy had become my befriend
Well both were very happy and we both went the school Gate
Which had an old watchman he enquired
Kya Hua? Phir se Football maara aandhar
The watch man was kind, and let us in and we both marched toward with much more enquiries and interrogation.
St. Mary’s ground it was full of girl’s as in their PT period was on, but Tarun got much more excited for this new experience, being present at the venue during the school hours.
And I was like well let get the ball , we were searching the ball where my eye were strucked to beautiful girl giggling with her friend well she was stunning in the moment she was terrific as my heart skipped a beat and my eyes popped out.
And I saw the football which was kicked in her hand I asked her for the football and she gave without any questionnaire, I felt awkward to ask but I had mumbled out.
As she returned with a smile on her face I also gave her an awkward smile back but ,one of her friend she that u don’t kick it again or else we won’t return it again , I gave that girl a stern look and came back.
But the girl which handed me the ball back had also got clicked in my mind, her cute smile and the pretty face was just stuck in my brain it was getting hard to concentrate because of her Cute smile and well I knew I was not going to see her again god know but I thought it was my first crush but then it was unit test time in the classes.
So simran and me didn’t texted each other for some day ,well the unit test went awesome as she was in other branch of same classes she was got free and it was so much to say to each other.
Simran texted:
Hi Utkarsh how was the unit test and how are you??
I replied: Yeah quite awesome and how were you’re as if I don’t need to ask you scholar miss.90+
She replied: Ha-ha I am well leave that do u have any Girlfreind?
I replied: Hmm no re why so? , And do u have any Boyfriend :P ?
She replied: Ha-ha no not now I had one in standard 9 now we brooked up
I replied: broked up? (Whoa great I don’t have any gf and she had a bf)
She replied: leave that re do u have any crush??
I replied: well I don’t know it quite silly I saw a girl in St. Mary she was awesome actually that day we went in the St. Mary to get the football that was kicked and this girl was there holding the football in her hand and she was so stunning I don’t know her name I don’t know but she was awesome.
She replied: OH that was you Kya I saw 2 boys from Greenfield was also there which was u one with specs or without specs?
I replied :Really yeah , I was the guy without specs where were you re and I haven’t seen you and who was that girl with the football who was she ? Please tell me.
She replied : Utkarsh looks like you got a crush on that girl , she is a bitch let me tell you she is very selfish and very bad girl I don’t like her and you should stay away from her and stop thinking about her and bye. I got to study bye………
I replied : Please Simran tell me who is she at least her name tell me please !!!
There was this tennis battle which went through my mind the girl I saw, she was awesome and she was pretty but then simran said she was not a nice a girl I was like 2 minded what to do I had a crush which my friend was saying ,
She is not a good girl and selfish etc. I thought she must have had a fight with simran and that why she was telling well then too I must stop this love at first sight thing as I was just 15
But then heard Song Taylor swift song
Coz when you’re fifteen and somebody tell you to love you u got to believe that
Uhh whatever I said and slept.
Next day on the way to school I saw that girl again she was with her dad on the bike and I was in autorishaw and well my eye popped out and that girl also saw me and kept staring at the signal she was kind of hiding her face and I was OHHH Shit bro she saw u staring ohnooooooooooooonooooooooo
Well that was limit I went and texted Simran:
Hey yaar tell me her name yaar please,
I saw her again today and
She sort of caught me staring at her.
She replied:
Utkarsh she is a friend of mine but she is not good for you so please stop it she told me the incident of today she told some that guy who came that from greenfield was so cute but 2day he was staring me like a swine.
I replied : oh okay, shit I like her so much that I saw her and couldn’t control anyways I don’t think now anything can go on
She replied:
Ha-ha Utrkarsh your so Dumbo anyone can fool you so easily boy, your are just like NOBITA but with no Doreomon
Listen I am sorry.
I replied:
Why you have to be sorry it’s my faults love at first sight sucks!!!!
She replied:
Actually listen honey I lied the girl you have a crush on is ME it ME its SIMRAN sorry for all this I just wanted to know how much u like me
I Replied:
Whattttttttt it was you I mean u really it was you are u kidding me? , I don’t believe you.
She replied:
Nope I am not, it was me and well you were looking handsome today: P.
I replied:
I can’t believe it I mean so many day I was talking to you and texting you it was
She replied:
Well it was me the selfish simran so want to say something?
I replied:
Yeah as if,
U know now ki I have a crush on you so
Would you like to be my girlfriend ??
It was kind of a very unromantic proposal but curiosity took the best of me
She replied: Utkarsh listen it standard 10th I got to concentrate on my studies
Then to I will think on it …
Well I went on with it and I had proposed a girl I didn’t knew anything but wanted to know what actually was a relationship it was quite a kiddo thing which was happening at age 15-16 well my curiosity had brought me to till here … well she had asked for some time to think typical Bollywood movie stuff
Well next day again on she texted:
Hey hi thing which you said I got an answer for it
I replied: yeah say what that tell me if there is yes or no I can bear them both.
She replied: Utkarsh I will become your GF but please, Utkarsh let keep this secret don’t you ever say anyone that Simran is your Girlfriend...
I replied: cool I was going to say the same thing …. :)
Well finally I had a gf (whoa I gotta gf) and I was happy coz well I liked her I had a crush on her
Seriously a Relationship??
I thought she was also curious to so she had said yes I don’t know really she liked me or no but ya that age well. we never really had a talk face 2 face but we used actually started looking at each other at the signal well that used to fun part of want to get a view of my gf and hope that the day goes well and same sometime didn’t used to see each other .
Well our secret didn’t last for more than 4-5 months and there were rumor which were true And Simran was very angry due to these rumor in school and classes which were spread-out due to our some mutual friend figured out .well It was Tushar head was a unpredictable
character he had few detective skill which he used and found and told one a crack head friend of his Manav well he was a “adimanav” of course this guy and me were friend but He was a crack head and he was jerk and often used to have vocal fight with me . he spread the stuff from Greenfield to St. Mary well for me it was not a problem as such but Simran was quite angry on me she started ignoring me and started avoid me to talk.
Then also stopped texting and calling her I was missing her but didn’t want to call up her or text it was killing in the moment I had started feeling lonely and used to be quite sad remained silent all day long I was missing her but then recovered myself I concentrated on my studies
And well our relationship got ended in a strange manner I don’t know I had lost a friend who was very close to me that was real hurting as such there was no relationship in this but the bond what we had created the understanding what we was over . Well I was really pissed off on Manav and Tushar because they were the reason for losing a friend.
After few week a she texted me: Hi Utkarsh how’s u? , angry on me Kya or something?? I am real sorry I know there was no fault of your that Manav apologized to me, and sorry I was angry on you for no reason .please forgive me.
I replied: no I am not angry on you.
I was indeed very angry on her, but I had decided to call that topic off.
And start again but now she no time for me.
Whenever I called her or felt texting her she started sorry Utkarsh I am busy I will ttyl.
I am not well and reason unknowly she was showing me lack of interest in me and maybe she was bored whenever she wanted anything and I didn’t reply or something she used to get dam angry and I started feeling like a puppet.
Whenever she felt like pulling me she lifted and when bored she threw me away I didn’t know why but she did ad then I also stooped texting her and calling and unknowly we had breakup and called it off coz exam were approaching and she wanted to study well had a relationship just for name there was nothing in that what would be called but there a BOND.
Well Junior College
From childhood any one would say “Beta bada hoke kya banoge??”
My certain answer was “Computer Engineer”
Didn’t knew anything about engineering but proudly said computer engineer
Well Computer Engineer was fixed for that got to approach Science Field, I hated biology and loved computer so I Went on to Computer Science as a Vocational Subject which made me throw away subject like Biology and 2nd language I had now only
English
Physics
Chemistry
Math’s-1
Math’s -2
Computer science -1
Computer science -2
Well I got these subject but the college i got was not highly reputed but then too was a good college.
Same with Simran she had also opted for vocational but me electronics we both were in different college
But in the same coaching classes this time same branch well we but thing were different this time around well she had changed she was no longer the Simran I knew my friend was lost
She was the new one and she was full of attitude I also started of ignoring her we hardly talk to each and otherwise we were complete stranger.
Computer Science Vocational subject had got in me into Royal College of Arts, Commerce & Science, it was not that reputed college but the faculty for science was good and it was,
So first day from School to College big transition period for a teenager growing up watching the film and the college life which is depicted a land of fantasy and fun with friend and all those funny moment ,made the curiosity for getting in the zone called college. As it was the time and place for everything was said by -BILL COSBY
"There is a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college."
Day One – Royal College, the name said royal but it was a total opposite place, I didn’t felt like going in looking at the College, But it was all me who had ended up here due to my less mark but I had my subject Computer Science, so I had a bit smile and I entered the college in an awkward state of mind as I had to enter it regularly for 2 years of my life.
I entered the college , The time was 12 noon , I could see the Degree college people were leaving the college and as I tried to move ahead I was pushed back by the whole crowd which was bursting out from that old building narrow staircase , I had to push them all to go ahead and I was successful in doing so and I got the idea , how to go enter the college and the scene from 3 idiots and the scene of VIRUS plays in my mind LIFE is A Race agar aage nahi badoge to duniya tumhe Kuchalar aage baad jaayega.
I managed to enter College I had to search the classroom and division, I finally got the room, I went in I saw people of the Computer science field. We all were sad and udaas and devdas like me, for being present in that room I could not see any known face from my school.
I saw people , I went in it sucked being there the Class teacher came in , she had a smile on her face which sensed that the mam was Good in nature and also helpful and she was very kind and college felt comfortable at that Moment , but then too it sucked I moved my eyes around there was no girl who would catch my eyes and had a quick relasization that the college depicted in the film ,was complete fake and it just the place where you study or walk out if you don’t want to.
No hot chick was spotted, or hit my radar as heard in reviews , I cursed myself for landing up in the puddle. Although i didn’t knew whether I could survive with no friend group around.
Next day I spotted some good looking girl around, but weren’t the one which I was looking for, they couldn’t make my hear skip a beat, the shy kind and awkward kind of guy I was never made me interact with them .The next week, there were chemistry practical and well we had lab partner, Fortunately my lab partner I didn’t knew was it a guy or a girl but he or she was absent, I thought and wished the guy should have some brain and doesn’t bug me up.
I saw beside, a girl was standing beside me and I thought may be her lab partner was missing the girl had good height she was nearly the same height of mine ,she was a good looking girl with curly hair , she turned her attention toward me , maybe she caught looking at her .
OOPS my mind barked, I thought she was about to say something until the sir said,
Pair up you both, if your lab partner are absent.
What your roll no.??
I mumbled, 33 and your??
Mine is 34, and my partner is I guess 35 may be absent.
We both had to pair up, I was kicking myself from within for staring her.
My Name is SANIA, and yours? She brooked the long silence as we were performing Titration.
Mine?? Utttkarshh I dragged tone.
She also shared the same story for ending up, in The Royal College as in for computer science,
Thing started going smooth soon , Royal College had a bad reputation but soon got a hang of it , and came to know that ,Faculty was very good and had good teaching skill and the review which were heard were fake ,although it consisted of some cheap guys but it was good .
I got a few Friend one was Raj and as my lab partner Akaar.
Exam were approaching, I was screwing up in math’s, it was Aakar and Sania, who helped with me and well that was it 11th standard was gone, time flew like anything
I had made a few friend at end of 11th standard it was Akaar, Raj and Sania.
Sania, was a happy go lucky girl and always taunted me for being so shy and acting so abnormal.
She used to text me message and pranks and I used to reply them , we started developing a good friendship ,and our texting started all day long .Sania was a different kind of girl, and she was becoming my a good friend and we used to share a Tom and Jerry relation . It was standard 12th and Diwali vacation was on,
I was
Life was running with CET preparation and had long session of lecture 7-10am
Then 10.30 college, Simran was a part of life, she was the only one from classes who texted me during the classes although used to sit on the last or second last bench she always used to enquire the classes timing and lecture schedule although she knew them and usually message or call me in my absence from the lecture, I used to love it.
Simran used to ask me whom did I used to call after Classes
Did I had someone in my life, she knew about Sania and she used to get jealous of it because of it.
Enginneeeerinnnggggg:
DAY ONE:
A step closer to Computer Engineering I was in Engineering Technical College although through Sania was in had Same Engineering college .And she request well there was a vacancy in the 3rd round and I got Technical college as it was the next nearest college from my house well
It was day one of my engineering college there were 5 division for F.E ABCD had started their sllyabus.
Well Division E was I was there the college time was 9.15am-3.45pm
I reached College by 8.30am
Well the college was completely empty I could only few watchmen and cleaner and I didn’t knew where was my classroom on the ground floor I was searching the noticeboard there were most of SE TE and BE information given when
Then a college student I asked him he was a senior and he told me go on the 3rd floor I went searching finally I found the notice board which had the timetable of All division I saw Division E they were 6 subject
1. Applied mathematics -1
2. Applied physics -1
3. Applied chemistry -1
4. Engineering Mechanics
5. B.E.E
6. E.V.S

Well I hated Math and mechanics and well then below was the timetable
9.15-10.15am AM-I-SP 305 well I didn’t knew what it meant I guessed it might be math well there you go subject I hated the most and SP was the teacher code well 305 was the room no. well the classroom was easily found I entered the classroom pretty much empty there was a girl dressed
In a Red Top and Jeans sitting on the 2nd bench of the central row and a guy who was sitting in the 1st row I choose my spot no too ahead nor way back be seated in the 4-5th bench as I did as it was the safe zone for doing all the time pass and chitchat well I went and approached the guy I asked him
Hi this is F.E Na??
He replied yes first year
I replied ohk Division E right
He replied no it not division E it A
I was shocked how can my detective sherlock-holmics mind go wrong
I went and checked the timetable again but no I was pretty right
Then I thought that they must be mixing it yup E with other division soon another guy digged he I asked him which division he said E and one more came he also said E
I got a bit suspicious then the guy asked me what is the day today I replied Tuesday oh I thought it Monday and I should be in 214 and that guy pissed me and I was like u meet a joker first day what going on bro ??
Well the Math’s mam came in I was right it was math mam started and well the lecture was getting boring
Next lecture :
Physics another mam came in she was asking many question but no one was answering it was pretty a lame class I felt. well the attendance sheet was passed I searched my name Well roll no. was 33 the number which was very familiar in school most of the 3-5 time I had this number well never I looked up the sheet the was this name Simar and I was like ohhhhhhhhhh there you go again well
I was pretty sure that she was not simran the spelling was a bit different but the name followed me as the roll no.
Then it was Mechanics a Sir walked he was very Old man and mechanics the other subject that I hated but the sir looked like Adolf Hitler but was tall. we but he was quite opposite of Hitler he was a soft spoken man his voice while teaching hardly reached 1st bench but the thing what he was teaching were going in my Head and it was fun. Next was math practical and the class room was divided in
E1:1-25
E2:26-47
E3:48-70
Well I was in E2 and we had to go in a comp lab well I went in we got in then was recess I was searching for Sania but she was nowhere to be found in the recess then we had Mechanics practical well at the end it was 3.15pm and sir left us because experiment was over and nothing to next to the lab there was a lecture going and there was Sania I waved at her she didn’t reply probably she was sleeping with open eye well I left home as I had to go for BEE Classes well I went and the sir was terrific his teaching was awesome and I understood BEE it was quite easy and while leaving I saw Simran well I was like well here you bro 3 years both are in same classes although this was the different coaching from 10th 11th and 12th well she saw she gave me a smile and I just waved at her then I left because it was the first day of college and after that classes .
NEW LIFE NEW FRIENDS:
I didn’t had a friend group all these year it was only Tarun and me but this time I was quite lucky to have a good friend group there was Saying or a Fact that I read about engineering about friends in Engineering
1st Year –Everyone in Your Division is Your Friend
2nd Year- It only about Groupism and fight
3rd Year – you only have 1-2 close Friend
4th Year – Everyone comes back together
Well as it said it was First year and I had a pretty good division and everyone where good friend ignoring a few and it the Batches E1, E2 & E3 which made the group and friend circle
Vivek – He was a good buddy, he was quite brilliant in studies he was quite vocal and knew the world all-round and knew how to deal problem
Mukul – He was a best buddy in the lot he was silent and he was the one I shared my thought and generally talked about the girl around he had the x-factor in him
Rugved – Well this guy was a prick he was short tempered and he didn’t get impressed pretty quickly but he was someone as in I called a double click friend , we got to impress him twice to get in that friend zone , as me I really didn’t get impress by people but in Rugved case we both clicked.
Neeraj – He was a fun loving character I pretty much enjoyed his joke and company
Dhruv – He again was fun loving, and leg puller guy and well he had all the headlines from the all area of world, college etc.
We this was much our group I Sticked with Mukul, Rugved and Vivek, Neeraj and Dhruv although we were a group he was the company we liked
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well in Semester 1, I and Mukul had become very good friend we always sat beside each other in on the same bench as the bench were only 2 people well he was living in Thane at his aunt place he was Vasai which took hell lot of travelling time we become good friend very quickly.
He was pretty different he was good at studies but usually got distracted from because some stupid he told he didn’t study because he used to play Counter-Strike and waste his time but at college she was very focused, it was hardly a few days passed in college 1 week passed or so I never really checkout girls really but once in a lecture He started look at her yaar the girl in the 3rd row 6th bench look at her man She is damm cute well I said oh yaa she is beautiful I said you got a crush on her . he said ya she is damm pretty , I told him guess she is our batch and I
had seen her today at the lab and got blown away man you don’t get good looking girl in engineering college . It was the last lecture and were both were waiting for the bell to ring
Well he both left and way out he told me lets follow her and look where she goes well I didn’t had classes after college I thought I should stay ,well we were waiting at the gate for her but she disappeared somewhere and we lost her .
Mukul: Where is she?
Utkarsh: I don’t know may be she stays at hostel
Mukul: I think so
He said that he liked her and she was his new crush well I wanted to pull his leg I told him listen I saw her first she is mine. Well were fighting for a pretty girl and it was quite interesting he was pretty serious for her and he wanted to know her name and talk to her.
Well he was quite serious for her and he wanted to know her Name he hand just told the right person well I had this awesome reasoning power and detective skills and sharp eye and sharp ear and was thought like Sherlock Holmes and Acp.Praduman and kept this name Acp.Holmes it was the Workshop and a better place to find her name I was helping her well Mukul was constantly looking at her ID which she had worn I told him go and stand when the Sir would be taking attendance he missed that opportunity well I said him next time bro . Well this continued for 2 days we were failing and ACP. Holmes was failing but then it was again the Workshop this time it was ACP on the watch well I also failed but I saw where she signed it was some 5 column above from the bottom . Well he came up
To me and Utkarsh did you got her name this was the last lecture of the day I said I ya
What it he said it in excitement and I said I will tell you near the notice board well the notice board had the attendance sheet of our divison and I went up to it saw 5 column from below it was “Kirti “it is Mr.Mukul I said. Kirti and Mukul Sound weird Kirti Utkarsh sound good Na??
He punched playfully and said “Mukul &Kirti “is quite good I said YA c’mon give me a treat now
Well day passed he told me that she was from Thane and didn’t live Hostel Acp.Holmes was wrong
He was chasing her and well he had few small conversation with her and was quite happy and he used to tell me they keep a watch on her look whether she looks at me I was like hush Are you serious?
Well he was this was getting crazy and I had caught her looking at us but I didn’t know which one of us
It was getting crazy and I had also started chasing her and was trying find her friendship
Well I don’t she looks at you she looks at me bro he said no She look at me and you go and look at Sania.
Well sania was one of my close friend but my friend had started teasing me with her name and it was quite annoying Sania was in other division but then to she had heard that they were teasing me, Sania was a very cool girl she was something out of the world I told her that my friend tease me with your name I told them but they just don’t stop that shit
She told ohh they Tease you with my Name Good you should be proud of It Utkarsh they tease you with my name sania the simply the best.
Well Sania was didn’t had a problem so it was also feeling normal and it did not matter and it went through out semester 1.
Well but Mukul behind Kirti that was sure but one day he came to me and said u keep that Kirti re I don’t want her
Utkarsh: what happened bro??
Mukul: She look good but she is not my type and she accts to cheap.
Utkarsh: well Mukul I also don’t like her I was just pulling your leg bro she is beautiful but something is missing.
Mukul: Nothing Man chuck her out, I saw her going with a some guy at Thane station well that guy was weird and I think was her boyfriend.
Utkarsh: Hahaaha Bro get a new fish bro
Well the chapter of Kirti was closed.
Hmmm MAYBE HER
Well there were not many good girl but there was one She had become very Famous and Smoked heat throughout the College there were a few from other division but this was from our very own Classroom
She had good height 5.6 She was a Class act She was Damm Pretty and had a small mole on the upper lips and Attractive She had Milky skin her Shiny Hair were till her Shoulder, she was sexy in all She was very similar Emma Stone or more well better than she was the girl that everyone wish for, She was the Masterpiece of Creation -an Angel from heaven.
And well the whole college had tried to chase her and her name was “Tithi ” Every guy from college had tried to talk to but she was Arrogant and she was very rude with boys
After few days the closure of Chapter was Kirti , I saw Mukul eyes shifted from 3rd row 6th bench to Last row 3rd bench I was observing him from 2-3 day it was a Chemistry lecture and Sir was going on and no one paid any attention to be nor me no MUKUL
Utkarsh : Will you Rape her now ??
Mukul: Whom are you talking about ?
He knew that I caught him and said
Utkarsh : You know who I am pointing , last row 3rd bench .
He accepted that he was watching Tithi and said
Mukul: ya she is awesome don’t you feel that just look at her she is perfect man she is terrific
Utkarsh: Ya she is the best the whole college run behind her.
Mukul: Ya bro She is best she doesn’t talk to guy as much I don’t think I can get
Utkarsh: I don’t know re she is good but I don’t get really attracted to I always get amazed to the girl’s with the mole or the beauty spot on their face she had one on right of her upper lip and just was the awesome spot on the face of utter perfection and beauty but didn’t really got attracted by her I didn’t knew the reason
Feel that but I love the way how she ignores guy around I like that cult of her personality.
Mukul: Whatever bro everyone is tried now following her and people say she is a lesbian
Utkarsh: loll won’t be true, okay bro
Days were passing by Me and Vivek used to sit most of the lecture didn’t studied but yaa Vivek was also found of Tithi and used to stare her most of the guys did and it was normal as engineering student we can’t be looking at the Professors all the time we needed refreshment and certainly looking at a pretty girl was some kind of refreshment well Vivek sat for attendance it was quite good but he believe the fact one of the sir gave him if your attendance was more than 90% you get the internal 5 mark from every subject 90% attendance in Every subject 7x5=35 mark well was it true was it fake didn’t knew I was also sitting the whole day
with him it used to ratio of 2:8 after recess boys usual bunk I picked my day for sitting whole day and another day it was the Malls in Vashi with friend .
Days were passing unit test were approaching, and this time it was new rules from the University and had new grading system and had to get an average of 8 mark and 6 mark that was 40% from all 6 subject so it 40% passing, the unit test and well the unit were quite good and everyone had thought they will score good to clear the average.
NEVAMIND
After UT the time had arrived for Fresher party,
The day had arrived and all the people from F.E were quite excited the classroom was,
empty and well there a quiet of lot time the party to start well everyone in the my group and well after doing all our nonsense for which our group was very famous for we always liked to pull, each other leg and have a laugh even at some small issue and make a short story long and laugh, their ass out well in washroom when someone used to let his flood gate open someone would, push him up and locking people in the washroom. Well I used not too involved in there,
Acts but was a laughing member.
They needed a new goat and were roaming around the college corridors
Neeraj, Vivek and Dhruv told me trap Rugved I said ya usss kamine koi lete hai aaj well Rugved heard me said haah hai kaamine tera bhi uddne lag Gaya kya.
Well the plan was had gone flopped before execution and Rugved said chalo washroom jaate let,
Get freshed up Neeraj requested: Utkarsh will you please get me the face wash from the bag,
Please bro we both are comps plzz I said ohk fine bro Comps.
I went in classroom it looked empty I went in and from behind Rugved locked me I was like uhhh I was trapped and I Said : Yeh dashgiri will you please stop this chu giri plzz I didn’t gave a much banging back on the, Door and
I heard a voice came to me in a harsh tone: Are we locked?
As I turned back a found a slap on my face and it was not painful but painful to come from Tithi and I l was ouch, Omg I was finished in that moment she was looking at me the look on her face was not that, scary but she was looking at, ME in strange fashion and I was quite stunned In that moment i was locked in a classroom with,
A girl and I had a slap for no reason, I didn’t knew how to react I gave her a stern look as I if I was angry on my friend and.
I Said :ouch it not my fault ,some of my stupid friend locked me up and they didn’t knew that you were there in the room and I Am sorry for this on their behalf .
She said: Well sorry I thought it was someone else that why call them and tell them to unlock, I searched for my cellphone it was with Rugved.
I said: Somebody else okay fine it didn’t hurt much as and no one’s around so it okay and
Oh shit... it with Rugved holy crap and the matter of the fact is that they are on the way,
To washroom and will open me up after, returning from washroom and I am sorry also.
She said: fine . ..I replied in urgency and sorry again.
I replied: why don’t you call up your friend and ask them to realize both of us and Sorry again.
She called up one of her friend and we waited, I was ready to escape
Her friend came in some 2-3minutes and released both of us there I go again I said Picking my bag up I said Thank you to her friend and said Tithi I am Real Sorry she replied it fine tic for tat .
I cruised straight to the washroom to bash my friend were quite shocked to see me they said toh tu bhahar kaise nikla???
I replied: a lot of abusive word and said Darwa todke you ******#@*@
Rugved: Saale seedha Baata aab
Vivek: Sach Mei thodke aaya shayad DAYA samjhta hai Na aapne aapko
Utkarsh: I said sale kaamino mujhe toh lock kiya uss Tithi ko bhi lock kar diya
Neeraj: Fuuccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk She was in the Classroom
Dhruv : Dekha humlogo ka friendship lock kiya lekin college ki best ladki ke saath lock kiya
Utkarsh : Kammino saaloo mujhe usske sath lock kiya meri phaat gayi paata hai kya
Mujhe laga mei toh gaya aaj Zhaapad milne wala hai aaj 10 -15 baar sorry bola mei usko
Neeraj : AAiicha gavat Kitna paada bey ??
I was like no I wont tell this incident as they will make a laughing topic throughout my life
Utkarsh : Fuckoff bach gaya jyaada kuch boli nai mereko next time tum logo ki maa ki aakh Comps
Well this was the pretty much life had started in semester one we enjoyed it thoroughly life was just moving smooth enough . We did quite of leg pulling stuff and engineering college day were fun.
That Breeze flows again But On and OFF
Day of fresher party, i started the feel of love for simran later at night, I smsed her,
And boom a reply with a flash “HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRECISE I was just thinking of you and here come your message “
Well I had a sweet conversation over texting and chatting to her , told her about the party and the incident which took place with Tithi which made my worry kept aside , as Sania was a bit anger on me and pissed off as I was late for the Mr. & Miss.Fresher initial round and she couldn’t win it . but the chat after a long time with Simran which was going on and In my romantic mood I was in that day may be I had got the hangover of coca cola ,I had felt the aura and I kept on reading her message which touched my heart.
And as those day were passing by Simran and Me were becoming friend and getting in touch and watching each other back and we were getting that old trust which was missing back. We used to meet up the railway station used and our outing’s and thing were normal and I was starting liking Simran company which I always did well then my college was nearby and her was college was much far so she used to leave the station early well
We used to msg each other but she used to text me quotes and thought and inspirational msg and I used to text her back one liner and joke and trolls. everything thing was fine but then suddenly I don’t know everything stopped she was in my BEE classes batch and the classes was over I hardly could see her now a day I was missing her msg every time I expected a msg on my cell but it was not .
So I used to text her some thought some joke some teaser well there was no msg well so I tried plan B I didn’t text many people so I had got 187 sms reaming which was going to expire the next day so I created a group I included all my college friend including her no. and rapidly send Same SMS didn’t not matter whether or what it was it was a joke or a thought or a troll or an idiotic send to 10 people or else msg I checked the remaining msg *225*1# it was 30 sms reaming
Over the year she used to reply when I used to send her 10-15 sms back to back but she didn’t reply and I was ohkkkkkkk ,but she was missing in my from life and I thought something might have happened to her to but then when I logged
Facebook next day well there was ticker on newsfeed which said 30min ago was pretty sure she was fine.
I also stopped texting her expecting her to text me first well there was I every night I used to watch at the home screen of my cellphone it displayed nothing but the time, well I was thinking of her 24/7 but just waiting just waiting for her. Well I got lost in submission as semester 1 was getting over I was lost in assignment and lost in simran.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next day in College I met Annaya, She was my childhood friend we used to be neighbors as her family had shifted to new place years back but Annaya knew me inside outside but were in contact through FB but not pretty much she was pretty like much like a Brother and Sister relation we had in same college of mine, it was rush time journal were getting exchanged assignment signature stamping was going on.
And well it ended which was giving rise to practical and oral and college days of Semester 1 were over. After all this nonsense of completion was over still I was missing Simran well her thought were literally killing me within and the background played a song of the band Wanted in my mind
If it was a physical pain, I could face it
But you’re hurting from inside my head I can’t take it,
I going to lose my mind
I had loosed my mind I had gone crazy, I was very uneasy was feeling despair and was lost in thoughts
And well there was Annaya whatapp hey bro what up? Well I needed to talk to some and well annaya was there well she was talking and she knew something weird with me she could figure it out
I told annaya about simran I thought that I had started liking her again or it was something much more
Well for me it had started with curiosity of having a relationship and did it reach that point of love was it many question was in my mind and were unanswered, frustration was maximum. Well Annaya told Utkarsh listen I am also in a relationship and I understand your feeling cause my boy also kind of get busy in his study and he also in other college and we don’t get to talk but then to relax bro I don’t know whether you love her or not but you need her but more importantly you should be keep it aside and study for oral and practical and semester 1.
Just Say it Again
Well that was not the matter in my case but I took her advice and kept my academics battle on. Although it was very tuff I used to see her online and well I used click on name and well offline in the next moment I was trying talk to her but most probably she was busy. It was now semester one exam had started well I was found them easy well had lots of holiday in between and there came Tarun Birthday Tarun was my the first guy who actually had a physical fight with and was a my enemy at school at grade 8th but as time passed till we
As his BEST Friend I had to be there as his exams were also going on we were both only present
Tarun: You look drunken ASS***ES, just look at you moron
Utkarsh: I am F*****G Engineering Student jackass Anyway Happy birthday Bastard
Tarun: Want to drink??
Utkarsh: I don’t Drink you know that, I Am Straight Edge
Tarun: Straight edge bastard, so how life?? How are your exam?
Well I told him well I got to know that he was also on same track his girlfriend was not in Mumbai she had out of town for studies he was also missing her, Tarun said I don’t know I think you’re in love with her I just think Bastard don’t try anything silly but if you feel that way go and tell her.
Well were pretty much sailing on the same boat well Tarun always cheered me up and charged me up. now I was pretty much I thought that I was in love I was in love with Simran well from unknown person to a silly relationship to a friendship which was full of emotion and so trust it had seen the worst side of the person to the good side of both of us to all the drama through the flirty talk I and the cheesy moment and the funnier side I and simran had developed this unnamed relationship
I was her friend and foe boyfriend and best friend, the Motivator, the DE motivator a secret keeper to troubleshooter to a troublemaker well I was the guy who had played so many roles I was in love with her
And didn’t knew was not sure about it but No one actually knew what love was that what I was feeling inside the missing factor ,sight of her absence I didn’t knew was it love I thought it was
I decided to tell her what she meant to me …..
Well next day I left for my the last semester 1 exam and it was EVS i saw simran at the station she was looking gorgeous in her purple skinny fit top a black jeans hair left loose the EVS book in hand and waiting for the train I went up and said Hey Hi beautiful what up done with evs??
She said who the hell are you? I said c’mon stop kidding babe it Utkarsh and gave a pat on her hand
In Reply I got a tight slap on my left cheek and all the people on the station started staring me the Police constable came up and kya huwa Simran
She said “Yeh mujhe ched raha hai “the hawaldaar gave me a push and said “Chal hero chal police station teri hawa nikalta hu “the hawaldaar was taking me away I shouted Simran “I LOVE YOU “
And gave that hawaldaar push I went near simran and said again simran I love you babe why are you acting like this and the she replied back with a Slap so hard on my right cheek that i literally woke up from the dream and found my hand on my cheek .
Well I searched for my cellphone in the dark near the pillow.
I checked the time it was 21/12/2013 time 4.56am and the Earth was Safe and everything was alive only if that dream was true it was certainly my last day.
The day arrived of the last Exam I was cautious about the dream which I had, but I could spot Simran anywhere on the station but fortunately she wasn’t there.
And hopefully nothing of that dream matched with the reality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exam were over and i haven’t seen her it had being 2 months, it was 28th December I called her up she picked
She said hello hi say I said I want to meet you she said when?? actually I am going out on a vacation with family tomorrow morning and I am busy packing my stuff I said Ohkk anyway happy journey and can I text you can we talk over texting She said Of course Utkarsh but what the matter anyways mom coming I have not done with packing yet & she will kill me bye.
I wanted to tell , I wanted to talk to her I wanted to see her face when I would have told my feeling for her .but I had decided I was going to tell her today itself on text didn’t matter .
I texted her done with packing???
She replied ya say what the matter??
I replied well I was going to ask you on a date that it
She replied: Whoa Utkarsh Date pen “Let me check AAJ Suraj kaahase Ugga hai “u serious??
But sorry I can’t come I was going out of town on vacation so sowie,
Yaa Dumbo y don’t you take that girl who you think all day long Na and
Didn’t even tell her name
Y me?
I replied: Listen simran I don’t know what will you feel I wanted to meet and say it to your face but
That day I didn’t tell you but it I didn’t want you to know this but I can’t take it I miss you I miss you every single day every single moment I want to be with the girl I think about all day long is
you I don’t know whether it my love or something else but want you I can’t do anything I miss you I miss your text you know all these month we have hardly met hardly were in contact with each other.
Msg delivered there was no reply it was 11pm I had told her what she meant to me
11.05 pm I was staring at my cell phone
11.10pm I was still in the same position
11.15pm I was still in every second was killing me she didn’t reply that y I wanted to meet her gave her a call there she didn’t receive I tried again again again
11.21 pm 1 new msg I
Simran: Listen Utkarsh I don’t know what to say I know that we have a strange relation with each other .But listen I have told you this many time that you are an integral part of my life and will always be. No one can take your spot in my life and I expect in your life no one should we are goodfriend.It just are feeling which just exceed sometime so chill in life we might end up with some else as our partner or life companion but promise me that you will never change
It was a delayed reply and a reply which I didn’t understand a bit I just went on reading it again and again and again the thing I only understood was she didn’t want me I was heartbroken and shattered it was not a proposal it was just my feeling which I had told her .
I never really always gave instant feeling or a rude reply back to Simran even though I was heartbroken and shattered from within I Replied her back:
Ohk Simi I just wanted to tell you this and so I said, And happy journey enjoy your vacation
What could I have said her I didn’t knew what was I thought she also thought and had the same feeling she just said I was an integral part and my feeling just exceeded and don’t forget me
where ever in life we end up and was she right was it that my feeling just exceeded a thousand of question were lingering around .and one sentence was flashing in my mind
“I shouldn’t have told you what you meant to me”
It was the line from Song One that got away –Katy Perry
It was my fault I sensed in her reply that she was no longer single may be I was too late to tell her what she mean to me, was there any other guy in her life was there any other Utkarsh in her life .or was it that she also loved me but she didn’t want go into a relationship at this time, was that she just kept me hanging around for a time till she find a better guy. it was certain that I was kept hanging she didn’t say a Perfect No or a Perfect Yes may be because she didn’t want to hurt me but the matter of fact is that she had given me a lot of pain it was unknowly .
DAAAM….
After a few days passed I told Sania about it she told me Utkarsh your over reacting was I really was I she was trying to tell me that there were lot of guy who have crush and they get rejected and what they do they move on and so I want you also to move on Simran if she had a bf she will also want you to move on with your and forget get her bro and move on u deserve much a more better girl than Simran.
Well it was not that it was just a crush on Simran we were friend and good friend were knew everything about each other and might be the reason that I fell in her love and she didn’t.
I didn’t knew what to do well sania told me to move on and I had to move on life doesn’t stop from a negative feedback but the feedback was neutral I didn’t knew whether it was yes or no then to I had to move on I was still staring at the home screen expecting her from text .
Bingo 1 new msg, I wished it was that it would be from her I opened it
No it was not VM-Thought: When you give more importance to someone else life you lose your importance in your own life.
For more thought sms “THOUGHT” to 53757 @ 30/pm.
Well that thought actually opened my eyes or told me to just look back and in your own life what I had done to myself I had lost importance in my own life it was time for me to comeback for myself and Become Utkarsh . But still Simran thought were still in the back of my mind I decided to change then too
I went up I threw my cellphone away and a call come up Utkarsh it Tarun c’mon bro lets hangout somewhere well Tarun always charged me up we went up to McDonald’s and our meal we always preferred walking have long chat with each other and doing crazy stuff on the Road . I felt good still thought were not easy, I went up back I logged in Facebook and started checking my profile I was checking accidently I clicked on Simran profile I was trying to erase the thought of her from my mind and I was now in her profile I looked at the ceiling cursing my mouse then myself, I saw her updates She had recently like her college confession page. I went in I saw the the confession and there was a confession I didn’t knew the confessor but it:
This is for Simran of F.E,
I started liking when the first time you I saw you,
Plz Simran come to me ply leave that Sameer he is not the right guy for you,
I am perfect for you.
Well it struck me like anything Sameer I remembered once I guy called Sameer asked her for a date
And she was kind of she liked him well there was I got the answer for all my question.
She was In a relationship that was the answer may be she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to hurt me but she didn’t tell me she told that she trusted me but she didn’t tell me that
she was in a relationship which hurted more I it was another Utkarsh in her life I started hating her . it was my first lookout that she had betrayed me and she didn’t trust me or she didn’t want to tell me the truth so that and keep me hanging and if thing go wrong she could pull me back in her life I felt as if I was falling from the mountain and Simran threw a rope at me and she had to decide whether to pull me or throw me she didn’t do anything either of it but she tied the other to a stone and now It was my decision to climb up of fall down .
That was the picture of Semester 1 day were passing I still had the picture of Simran playing in my mind I had to stop that I thing my anger for her was going out of my mind and I had forgiven her in my mind maybe my hate for her was not correct because it was just a confession I read and it might be some joke. I had read a novel which had this line
Love is never wrong but girl can be
It flashed in my mind and I didn’t knew the answer was my love wrong was my girl wrong was I wrong. I decided not to think about her I wished I didn’t care and moved on pretty much I decided that she was wrong she never was there for me she used me she was the wrong person and I had to now find a new person a new girl and start new life and Get a new girl and Take some kind of revenge with Simran I wanted. Simran to cry for me I wanted Simran to look back and See what she lost and she will regret for the rest of her life I had that revenge in my mind. All these year I was with Simran and helped consoled her for every big and small thing which had went wrong and stood for her .but she was never for me when I needed her. I had to change.
College was going to reopen I was trying to come out of it. I recalled the semester 1 day and Targeted The Best girl I had decided to keep a Crush on Tithi although she had slapped me, She was the best and she was the in her class I will get her and prove show simran what she had lost and will make her feel the pain of not having me around and give her the taste of her own medicine and be a jerk and make her hate me, I will do everything what she hate and be a prick of her life.
SEMESTER 2
College reopened
Was happy to meet my friend and well our HOlaaHull had started from day 1 well
Day one of Semester 2
I was entering the classroom and as I entered all the roar of the boys went up WHoaaaaaa Utkarsh Yeah Wooooooo and well it was a thunderous ovation I liked it and Well I Out and said Thank you People Thank I Love you all vote for me .
Well I went down till the other guy came in and we had an ovation for every guy who came in it was crazy it was fun and everyone did their part of fun.
I felt amazing meeting all the friend after a long break, it was a was a jigsaw puzzle getting complete.
Soon I was caught by SPA (Structured Programming Approach) for talking she was a new mam and she had caught me she told
Go and type the algorithm for Simple Interest well Spa C programming the subject that was flowed in my blood I love it and Well I typed the algorithm well the mam was pissed off she thought I could do it and she had the bad side for me and well the mam had an ego problem and I knew I was going to get screwed the entire semester.
Well at end of the day I blamed Simran for this. Whatever had happened I was blaming her for the But there was this saying
What we Resist that Persist
But soon I had being habituated to this missing fee