How to shower like a woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket
According to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg - lifts etc.
Get in the shower.Use face cloth, arm cloth,leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash your hair once again to make sure it,s clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash .Rinse conditioner off your hair....
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo woo ' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a shampoo Mohican.
Piss in the shower.
Rinse off and get out off the shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on the floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in the mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open,wet mat on floor, light and fan on.Return to bedroom with towel around your waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
