I never knew what it is like to be in love or to have a boyfriend... until it was for you .... started off as being friends , becoming best friends and later accepting you as would be life partner…
I thought life is difficult not realizing that it depends on who you choose to be with...
I never thought of you more then as a best friend in the first place but when I really fell in love, that was the wrong turn from where I seem to be lost and can't find my way back to being normal...
I lost you in february. It was more difficult because I was planning to make our first valentine, special than ever....but we broke up few days before 14 feb..I never felt so alone and depressed...it was something I never became used to... It wasn't your fault so struggled to be or at least act normal which I failed again and again...
It was because I totally owned you in those few months we shared together...I literally gave my moments to you... which made you so special for me...
now when I see you doing great and over it I feel ashamed and embarrassed for falling so hard..
you tried everything possible to make it up to me.. but its me who is super crazy... I feel every scared of the thought of being alone... this causes deep depression in me...
but now, I really want a favor from you... I have tried everything possible... but all in vain.. help me by leaving me forever... staying by your side will drive me more crazy.. I can't see you loving someone else or stay completely ignorant of me... so its okay if you think I am dead...its very difficult that in those days you cared a lot about me and made sure I was okay and now I think hundred times before calling you and rehearsing what I would say and talk like so it won't sound over..
leaving seems easy way out apparently... but I'll miss you.. every second of you... all those laughters, stupid jokes, slang and all those tears...I can't stop crying but now I don't want to cry infront of anyone..its killing me..
but I guess time will heal everything…
I want to apologize for everything I did which was reason for your pain and hurt.. I never intended to hurt you or anyone ever.. but I always end up being bad for another person.. so I am really sorry and I mean it ...
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Comments (36 so far )
TARZAN RELOADED
Well Well... looks to me like somebody is heartbroken...
August 28th, 2013
Author
Well ... story of my life...
August 28th, 2013
Mind blowing!!!! Blessed r people who can write such feelings!!pity those who can't even speak out pain!!!
August 28th, 2013
Author
I was very depressed when I wrote this.. I guess writing does helps in reducing depression and sadness..
August 29th, 2013
Author
the worst part.. we are still friends.. good friends.. and he moved on long ago.. now whenever I break into tears he gives me his example which is unbearable...
August 30th, 2013
yeah listening from those whom we loved about how to move out is horrible experience. I never believed in love until I fell in for someone.
Its a powerful emotion, can make you or break you, best you can do is avoid being alone at all cost, although the temptation to re-live the moments and being left alone would be too much, but don't fall for it.
Not at all.
Remember what is meant to be, will happen eventually , and what is not will never be. Be thankful to them who came in life even for a short time, for, life wouldn't be same afterwards.
Its an inclusion , how we move from there is our choice. We either becomes lesser than what we were earlier, or assimilate the experience and become better.
Remember, everyone and everything in our life exist because we are, in the end its you around whom your life events take place, stay centered in yourself and free yourself from the past.
I know its gonna be tough, I know it seems impossible for now, but hang on, rely on friends, meet new people, deepen ties with family and the sting will go.
Its a powerful emotion, can make you or break you, best you can do is avoid being alone at all cost, although the temptation to re-live the moments and being left alone would be too much, but don't fall for it.
Not at all.
Remember what is meant to be, will happen eventually , and what is not will never be. Be thankful to them who came in life even for a short time, for, life wouldn't be same afterwards.
Its an inclusion , how we move from there is our choice. We either becomes lesser than what we were earlier, or assimilate the experience and become better.
Remember, everyone and everything in our life exist because we are, in the end its you around whom your life events take place, stay centered in yourself and free yourself from the past.
I know its gonna be tough, I know it seems impossible for now, but hang on, rely on friends, meet new people, deepen ties with family and the sting will go.
August 30th, 2013
Author
I have always been a reserve person.. I don't mix up with people ... I don't feel relying on them.. but when I own someone, I really do... I left everything known friend of mine for him.. he had all his friends and still have them... now when I look back I lost everything for never happening dream whereas he is still having everything....
I tried being different and replacing him with anyother guy who was falling for me just to feel wanted and loved.. but I cant accept anyone.. I feel like cheating and not good at all...
the most difficult part is .. he was my best friend too.. even when we broke up, I cried infront of him and shared what I was going through which made me look even more stupid...
now we are friends .. he makes fun of those days and I end up supporting him so to show him that I am normal now,but I keep feeling one thing when he laughs on that stuff that.. dude.. save me,I'll die... now I cry all night....I know that's insane.. it's been 6 months now and I still cant get over it..
I tried being different and replacing him with anyother guy who was falling for me just to feel wanted and loved.. but I cant accept anyone.. I feel like cheating and not good at all...
the most difficult part is .. he was my best friend too.. even when we broke up, I cried infront of him and shared what I was going through which made me look even more stupid...
now we are friends .. he makes fun of those days and I end up supporting him so to show him that I am normal now,but I keep feeling one thing when he laughs on that stuff that.. dude.. save me,I'll die... now I cry all night....I know that's insane.. it's been 6 months now and I still cant get over it..
August 30th, 2013
Hey i just have one thing to say...never lose yourself. You are your best friend. Everybody is after that. Am saying this out of experience. Learn to love yourself first. Unless you do that please don fall in love again.
August 30th, 2013
Tried replacing part is not so good, when you are getting over a person don't involve others, put yourself in their situation, they might think you are in love whereas you are simply going to them for getting the feel good factor back. Why to do to others which you want want to be done to yourself ?
Until you are totally over with this guy don't get involve with others, else before you know you would have created problem for someone else.
Stay away from others, you would harm them deep, stop this pain at you first , get over it, it will go away believe me it always does.
And then start over with someone else, give yourself fully expect the same and you never know the magic can take you over once again . Afterall that is life is all about learning , living, and evolving.
Until you are totally over with this guy don't get involve with others, else before you know you would have created problem for someone else.
Stay away from others, you would harm them deep, stop this pain at you first , get over it, it will go away believe me it always does.
And then start over with someone else, give yourself fully expect the same and you never know the magic can take you over once again . Afterall that is life is all about learning , living, and evolving.
August 31st, 2013
@he makes fun of those days and I end up supporting him so to show him that I am normal now,but I keep feeling one thing when he laughs on that stuff that
He never loved you if he can makefun of those days, you are wasting your emotions on him. I missed that part earlier, best is stop being friend, he is keeping you around as friend to get what he gets from you without giving what you want from him.
So you will feel empty everytime you talk to him and left wanting more and more which will never happen because the way you are connected to him inside is more than just friends. And for him you were friends and now may be lesser.
No-one laughs at the emotional aspect of togetherness until they feel it was a stupidity. And why would someone look at a onetime emotional aspect as stupidly ? Not until they actually look down at the other person.
Take it with a pinch of salt - He doesn't respect you at all. Still if you hanker for him then you are proving he is right.
Cut off fully , get rid of the guy and pain altogether and at the same time spare this other guy who was falling for you, tell him that you went to him due to the emotional vulnerability you were experiencing, that way you will have a friend worth keeping for life.
I don't know why women now a days bank more on hiding and keeping things when theirs or other's emotions are involved, in end these traits only do bad to everyone involved.
He never loved you if he can makefun of those days, you are wasting your emotions on him. I missed that part earlier, best is stop being friend, he is keeping you around as friend to get what he gets from you without giving what you want from him.
So you will feel empty everytime you talk to him and left wanting more and more which will never happen because the way you are connected to him inside is more than just friends. And for him you were friends and now may be lesser.
No-one laughs at the emotional aspect of togetherness until they feel it was a stupidity. And why would someone look at a onetime emotional aspect as stupidly ? Not until they actually look down at the other person.
Take it with a pinch of salt - He doesn't respect you at all. Still if you hanker for him then you are proving he is right.
Cut off fully , get rid of the guy and pain altogether and at the same time spare this other guy who was falling for you, tell him that you went to him due to the emotional vulnerability you were experiencing, that way you will have a friend worth keeping for life.
I don't know why women now a days bank more on hiding and keeping things when theirs or other's emotions are involved, in end these traits only do bad to everyone involved.
August 31st, 2013
Author
I know replacing is never good.. I left those people who thought they loved me long ago.. I even apologized for being rude... I, now don't talk to anyone.. no one...
we broke up because of the fact that our families wont accept this due to religious differences... he backed off saying leave your family or we end this thing.. I feel bad why he took the easy way out and didn't fight for this thing... he stays mad at me, even yells at me making me cry... but I heard our mutual friends who dont know that we were together that saying he said I am the perfect girl and that no other girl can be even 0.1% of me...
I asked him why he is rude and all and he said.. if he stays caring then I wont get over him ever... but its easy to get over someone who doesnt respect you...
I really want to get over this thing .. but I really cant... I am 21 years old and I have been taking anti depressents... I was a great student.. I lost interest in that as well...I always was a non serious girl to everyone as they always saw me smiling and laughing in serious situations.. but now when they see me crying all of a sudden then they feel really awkward...
I am just so sick of feeling mentally and physically tired... he tells me stories of his new love all the time... and when I talk about any guy he says .. yeah go marry him... its just I want to feel really pretty and secured..
I feel scary of the thought of being hell alone... I really feel my heart sinking.
we broke up because of the fact that our families wont accept this due to religious differences... he backed off saying leave your family or we end this thing.. I feel bad why he took the easy way out and didn't fight for this thing... he stays mad at me, even yells at me making me cry... but I heard our mutual friends who dont know that we were together that saying he said I am the perfect girl and that no other girl can be even 0.1% of me...
I asked him why he is rude and all and he said.. if he stays caring then I wont get over him ever... but its easy to get over someone who doesnt respect you...
I really want to get over this thing .. but I really cant... I am 21 years old and I have been taking anti depressents... I was a great student.. I lost interest in that as well...I always was a non serious girl to everyone as they always saw me smiling and laughing in serious situations.. but now when they see me crying all of a sudden then they feel really awkward...
I am just so sick of feeling mentally and physically tired... he tells me stories of his new love all the time... and when I talk about any guy he says .. yeah go marry him... its just I want to feel really pretty and secured..
I feel scary of the thought of being hell alone... I really feel my heart sinking.
August 31st, 2013
You girls could actually write a book using those long comments.. :P
August 31st, 2013
@Author
Few things you should know -
1: Your love for him was not there since the time eternal, it gradually developed so it was not something of 'janam janam ka saath'. People tend to like those around more and over period of time. Its a normal fact.Its called anything but love.
2: Feeling special in someone's presence appeals to your biology and ego, 'he said no one is even 0.1% of what she is' do you really think you are better than 99.99% other women he would be knowing ? That is another that you are 100% different than anyone else he knew, you are unique so is everyone else. So forget that idea , its appealing to your ego and not to your heart.
3: He stays mad at you and yells at you making you cry ? Someone who loves you can't see your tears, globally men break down on sight of tears of a woman, women been using tears to keep the their men weak at knees since generations :-) . Don't you know that ? If he can tolerate your tears easily or makes you cry, he doesn't love you, he treats you like someone who should be in his life. Probably you very beautiful and good to talk with person.
4: 'I always was non serious girl' that is your real nature, think where you are going with this relation, love always makes you 1000 times better person, makes you better looking, happier, contented. This is doing the opposite ? still think its love ?
5: "I asked him why he is rude and all and he said.. if he stays caring then I wont get over him ever... but its easy to get over someone who doesnt respect you." he is a good manipulator , if this is what he is really trying to do he won't tell you, he is making it look like he is doing it for your good, the fact being he acts like that due to what he actually feels for you.
6: "he tells me stories of his new love all the time." tell him to go F*** the new love next time he tells you story. He is actually loving the idea that you are in so much love with him, it is giving him boost. Some people like to hear how much the other loves them. Give the kick in the butt he is not worth it. And for god's sake stop talking to him, if you can't respect yourself no one else will .
Let the space in your heart be empty again and you will find someone who will turn the whole world upside down to see a smile on your face and twinkle in those eyes. That is a guy you should change yourself for and not for a sick emotionally insecure moron who tell you stories about how successful he is with women.
The guys who are really successful with women or have plenty generally avoid talking about women. (I know for sure)
Trust you will be out of it, first step is to start taking control of your life.
Few things you should know -
1: Your love for him was not there since the time eternal, it gradually developed so it was not something of 'janam janam ka saath'. People tend to like those around more and over period of time. Its a normal fact.Its called anything but love.
2: Feeling special in someone's presence appeals to your biology and ego, 'he said no one is even 0.1% of what she is' do you really think you are better than 99.99% other women he would be knowing ? That is another that you are 100% different than anyone else he knew, you are unique so is everyone else. So forget that idea , its appealing to your ego and not to your heart.
3: He stays mad at you and yells at you making you cry ? Someone who loves you can't see your tears, globally men break down on sight of tears of a woman, women been using tears to keep the their men weak at knees since generations :-) . Don't you know that ? If he can tolerate your tears easily or makes you cry, he doesn't love you, he treats you like someone who should be in his life. Probably you very beautiful and good to talk with person.
4: 'I always was non serious girl' that is your real nature, think where you are going with this relation, love always makes you 1000 times better person, makes you better looking, happier, contented. This is doing the opposite ? still think its love ?
5: "I asked him why he is rude and all and he said.. if he stays caring then I wont get over him ever... but its easy to get over someone who doesnt respect you." he is a good manipulator , if this is what he is really trying to do he won't tell you, he is making it look like he is doing it for your good, the fact being he acts like that due to what he actually feels for you.
6: "he tells me stories of his new love all the time." tell him to go F*** the new love next time he tells you story. He is actually loving the idea that you are in so much love with him, it is giving him boost. Some people like to hear how much the other loves them. Give the kick in the butt he is not worth it. And for god's sake stop talking to him, if you can't respect yourself no one else will .
Let the space in your heart be empty again and you will find someone who will turn the whole world upside down to see a smile on your face and twinkle in those eyes. That is a guy you should change yourself for and not for a sick emotionally insecure moron who tell you stories about how successful he is with women.
The guys who are really successful with women or have plenty generally avoid talking about women. (I know for sure)
Trust you will be out of it, first step is to start taking control of your life.
September 1st, 2013
Author
yesterday he called me and asked me to help about him in the work which his new love gave him.. as in I'll sort that out and he gives it to her and she goes all crazy for him without knowing that it was me behind this.. not only that he also says to her that I am very emotional lady who doesn't like to use brains .. that's just to make her feel better as according to him she is the most beautiful person ever and lady herself claims that she super model and no one can compete her with the looks...
whenever I talked to him, even when we were together he made me feel very less of me.. saying I have a lot of flaws and he is having hell many ladies falling all over him who are really beautiful... I use to feel very low..
but yesterday when I refused clearly to help him , he became quiet... said nothing and later he said well I'll call you later... I said.. actually no.. we dont need to talk.. I have a lot of things going on so I dont think so will be talking much..
he said okay will be talking only when will be needing help.. I said .. no not even then... we are grown ups to sort out our own problems so forget it..
he said fine .. but remember you are ending this.. I said yes I am...
and guess what, after that very moment I uploaded my picture on facebook.. a random snap.. I got all of my friends very happy as I dont have my pictures on any social site.. my khala's called me saying they saw me after so long and they were extremely very very happy to see me and told me that I have turned even more pretty... and when I saw my mom smiling on hearing from her sister that your daughter is so cute I believed that ...
and your comment really made my day...
It is difficult to start all over but I am feeling happy now...
whenever I talked to him, even when we were together he made me feel very less of me.. saying I have a lot of flaws and he is having hell many ladies falling all over him who are really beautiful... I use to feel very low..
but yesterday when I refused clearly to help him , he became quiet... said nothing and later he said well I'll call you later... I said.. actually no.. we dont need to talk.. I have a lot of things going on so I dont think so will be talking much..
he said okay will be talking only when will be needing help.. I said .. no not even then... we are grown ups to sort out our own problems so forget it..
he said fine .. but remember you are ending this.. I said yes I am...
and guess what, after that very moment I uploaded my picture on facebook.. a random snap.. I got all of my friends very happy as I dont have my pictures on any social site.. my khala's called me saying they saw me after so long and they were extremely very very happy to see me and told me that I have turned even more pretty... and when I saw my mom smiling on hearing from her sister that your daughter is so cute I believed that ...
and your comment really made my day...
It is difficult to start all over but I am feeling happy now...
September 1st, 2013
just stick with resolve for few weeks then months and before u realize the moron will be out of system..
September 1st, 2013
Author
I feel bad because I felt him when he needed my help.. whatever the reasons but I left him when he needed me..
September 2nd, 2013
And what about when he left you ? Life has to be fair both ways isn't it ?
This is your mind giving you reasons to go back to being mommy, you are not in-fact required to be help anyone as anyone else is required to help support you. Give yourself too much and you will be used day and night.
I know it, once you start giving too much of yourself then it becomes an expectation that you do so always, with nothing coming in return.
Choice if yours, tremble now and repent for ever.
This is your mind giving you reasons to go back to being mommy, you are not in-fact required to be help anyone as anyone else is required to help support you. Give yourself too much and you will be used day and night.
I know it, once you start giving too much of yourself then it becomes an expectation that you do so always, with nothing coming in return.
Choice if yours, tremble now and repent for ever.
September 2nd, 2013
Author
that's true it becames expectation...I don't remember him saying even thank you.....infact he tells me million reasons where I didn't do right in the given work...
he haven't dropped any text or called me right after I refused to help.. I guess that was very reason we were talking in the first place...
he haven't dropped any text or called me right after I refused to help.. I guess that was very reason we were talking in the first place...
September 2nd, 2013
Author
you ETERNALME are awesome !!!
I thought I'll die and no one will know what was going inside me but I've shared everything without hesitation... and it's helpingggggggggggg.....
I thought I'll die and no one will know what was going inside me but I've shared everything without hesitation... and it's helpingggggggggggg.....
September 2nd, 2013
Oh yeah !!! thanks for the 'awesome' bit :-p
I practice receiving fees for consultations, 'awesome' gleefully accepted ;-).
I practice receiving fees for consultations, 'awesome' gleefully accepted ;-).
September 2nd, 2013
Author
well on behalf of not paying anything :P and gaining a lot, I sure can be your marketing head.. will recommend ETERNALME therapy to all sad souls...
September 2nd, 2013
Author
COUNT ME IN ;)
September 2nd, 2013
Etername!!!!!!!!!! Gosh u r so good with consoling sad souls!!hats off !!
September 2nd, 2013
@Ankita Naduvinamani : I wish i was equally good in consoling myself. ;-)
September 4th, 2013
@Fallen Messiah : Broke some bones or only the thinking faculty got impaired ?
September 4th, 2013