iDon't have an iPhone

And I don't need one.

Because, it's disappointing to spend half of your life’s saving on a dream phone, and suddenly finding out that there is a new version of the same. A taller. Smarter. And costlier one.

And it becomes even more disappointing when you find out that Jaffer Bhai in Crawford market is selling it for half the cost. That’s why, iPhone 5 makes 2012 one for the most dreadful years ever. Of course, there are several other reasons as well. Like the release of Akshay Kumar’s ‘Joker’, Rakhi Sawant deciding to change herself completely (the only things that she won’t change is her style of talking, dressing, dancing, bitching, eating, hitting) and Anna Hazard will once again go on a strike against corruption. Apparently, the third news doesn’t seem to bother anyone (not even the government).

Now let’s get to the point quickly. The new version of iPhone is supposed to be 0.009% slimmer, 1.5% lighter, 2.3% advanced, 3.1% faster and 99% costlier than the earlier one. That means the iPhone user can now do three things at one time. Flaunt, flaunt and flaunt. It is also believed to be more thrilling, eye-catching and impactful than the return of Tulsi Virani’s fifth husband (if there was any. Ekta Kapoor *hint hint *). And it is supposed to fulfill all your ‘I can do without’ needs. The internet is going crazy over the launch. And there is also a debate over Smartphone importance. iPhone 5, Nokia Lumia or Samsung Y, which one of them is worth having. And Y why? (For which the right answer will be ‘I don’t give a fuck and so should you’).

Of all the bad things happening, there is some good news. Axis Bank, Citi, HDFC and ICICI has decided to offer a personal mobile loan to all the wannabe users of iPhone 5. What’s more, the loans are available at 75 – 80% interest rate (only). But if you ask me, I would say only dumb people will need this smart phone. But then the question is, would you really bother asking me? Huh!