I put my favourite pair of jeans for our usual drive around town on a Sunday. Just then I hear , “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” silence; “Waaaaaaaaaa”! I turn around my son is busy figuring out if he wants to play with his toy car or bang it into the wall!
I should go out, I tell myself and go into the hall. My daughter is half on the sofa and half on the floor crying and I don’t know why. I really can’t say if she herself knows the reason, why!
Just then my husband come in and looks at her. Both of us grumble, grumble about the crying then find out- she just wants to change her outfit – the fourth time.
“When will she grow up?” I ask my husband, and I picture her all grown up in High School and I am free to do my oil painting, go to all the art exhibitions, hold eco-friendly exhibitions and read all I can. When we are finally in the car and my daughter is playing with my son. My son grinning at her, I think back. Do I really want them to grow and take on the world? Do I want them to fight and complete – for admissions, paint a masterpiece then act polite (PR) to sell it – to make a living?
Competition? Highs. Rejections? Heartbreak. Independence? Loneliness.
Or will I like to keep them cocooned? Away from the world. Call ‘safe’ friends (same sex?) at home to play? Keep a fixed deposit so they don’t’ have to work under pressure? So they can paint for art’s sake; write for themselves. Not be pressurized by reviews, critics or empty halls.
Am I really impractical?
Keep them away from relationships – find them the perfect match myself. Save them the heartbreak and keep them from the mysterious of human mind, heart and behavior? Keep them also from the goosebumps of the first romance; tears after an applause and the anxiety before trying something new?
So do I really want them off my hands? Well, no. Face the world; see friends / neighbours on their worst days? No. But I still want them to go out and experience the world. Explore life’s secrets and mysteries and grow stronger and wiser.
Will I tell my children to excel? No. Instead will tell them – ‘Get a job to pay the bills while I am right behind you but enjoy art for art’s sake and let no comment deter you or elate you off your roots’.
I will teach them to be sensitive to others at the same time strong to withstand a storm. Will I tell them, “Make me Proud?” No. I will them “I am proud of you.”
