Just a year ago, I was stress-free. I did not know how getting tensed actually feels like. I was cheerful, and happy. In every bad thing, I somehow managed to look for something good. And after the end of the day, I always used to thank god for such a wonderful day and asked for a better day when I wake up in morning. I used to pray because god used to listen to me. I was a happy creature a year ago. But today, I feel as if I have completely lost myself. I don’t know a single thing about me. I don’t know where I am and what am I supposed to do. I am confused about my life. I knew what I had to do in the future, but today, I see those as worthless decisions. I demoralized myself. I feel as if I am someone else. And the problems in my life are haunting me. I don’t know the way out and I don’t even know how to go through it. People whom I loved the most have lost their importance in my life, just because I have started thinking the other way. Another bad thing is that, I know that I am ruining myself, but I am not able to do anything about it. Folks say that I should just stop thinking, because I think a lot and the simplest things seem to be confusing for me. But I am addicted to thinking. I cannot help it.
My life is become like hell slowly. May be just because I am in teenage, and it is all new to me. May be, I will get used to it? But when! I miss my cheerful life. I want to go back to childhood and cherish every moment of it. Because now I understand, it will never come back. Growing up is a tough task. And if life is so trouble-some in teenage, what will happen when I grow up? This thought horrifies me. I don’t want to grow up.
I want to get back to the time when crying was only for broken toys, and smiling was only while getting a new dress. The time when there were no fake friends, and love was only for parents. That time when getting a doll, meant everything.
I miss my innocence. I miss my childhood. I miss my life. I miss living…
