(Read this last part only if u have read all the previous ones, especially the 8th part. All the parts were a virtual conversation that I had with my Honey.)
...later some more texts were interchanged via sms. But they made condition all the more worse. Honey I felt like crying, that too without any influence from alcohol. It happens very rare to me. I guess you know that. But I didn’t. Every emotional content in me was up to the brim and controlled. But the silence nature around me brought me into asphyxial condition. I needed someone to talk without knowing the repercussions of talks at such critical moments. I thought of people close to me. First person that came to my mind was my eldest sister, who has always helped me in my bad situations and has always given valuable suggestions. I dialled her number. She answered. But she was busy in a meeting and so she wasn’t able to talk at the moment. I was suddenly twitched back to that melancholic feeling. Everything around was encapsulating me more and more into solitary. Then my elder sister came to my mind. You know her well. I called her. And the moment she said “Hello”, a liquid started peeking out of the corners of my eyes. And the moment when I tried to say “Hello”, I got the taste of that liquid flowing past my lips. Though the taste was salty, it felt acrimonious. My voice quivered. She asked “kya hua? Sab theek?” I had nothing to reply. My hands were busy choking my mouth restricting it from blurting out any words and my mind was busy figuring what to say. With a shivering low voice I said her, ‘I was never so weak before.’ And believe me Honey, I never was. This incident of not being able to withstand tears in front of someone reminded me of the days just after my mother’s demise. Two different incidents were making my situation more and more miserable. The atrocious nature of life hit me. And I had no words or actions to reciprocate against that. I guess that’s when people cry.
Now that I understand profoundly the condition and the feel while crying, I want to earnestly apologize for every time I didn’t understand your tears. I am sorry Honey.
Anyways, the day just passed. My sister coaxed me to calm down. She made me feel happy as I was about to meet didi and bhaiya at airport the next day. Eventually I braced myself. She gave a statement, “agar sache dil se pyaar karte ho toh
who ek din zaroor samjhegi aur laut aayegi.” I presume this statement helped me induce some sense to nerve up. And I believe...tum zaroor lautogi.
:(
I wish to talk to you more here. But it’s grasping my mind more and more in pensive despondent conditions. It’s not that I can’t withhold such states, but the condition needs some pragmatic interactions.
It is said that there is no exact synonym for the word love...I consider it you Honey...synonym for my love.
Its not the end...
...a beginning of a SOUVENIR!
