I spent 2 hours chatting with her. Took out time from my precious working hours, delayed a very important work. I always affirm it to myself that I will not let her overpower me. She doesn't have any feelings for me and when she have told me so many times that there is no future of us together, why do I fall for this prick, every single time.
Her single smile makes me forget all that happened. My one sided love. She said one sided love makes no sense, I told her I don't see that its one sided when I feel it, that I know I am wrong. She laughed in surprise. I was feeling so confident for she was still laughing, wanted to say a few more of the forbidden. She didn't denied it either, that she loved me too. I meant its a parallel world in which she is mine. she knew it too.
Maybe she is thinking about something serious for she is closer again after so many years of ups and down, I thought. Maybe that is why she allows me to flirt sometimes. Friends, we had been all through long. But today when I was chatting with her and asked her for a date, although in a very non serious and flirtatious manner, she denied, politely. But then it seemed she had done something wrong by allowing me to flirt with her again. She was sad, she wanted that I don't. Will not flirt anymore, I promised.
But a promise as small as this poked a hot iron rod in the buried mummy of my dreams. All possibility gone. After a long silence I chatted with her again in the night and we are good friends laughing again. Maybe am sad or maybe am happy. Sad for I feel stupid to still talk to her. Happy for the laugh we have.
God knows how things will be when she gets married in few months. Friends and family are looking for a groom.
